I tried to swipe a crumb off my phone and accidentally liked all 240 pictures of my ex girlfriends trip to Maui with Roger

— vineyille (@vineyille) March 6, 2016

According to Investigation Discovery, I handle breakups like insanely well

— Kara (@thedryginger) October 23, 2017

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom not to text my ex.

— Lil Uzi Horizont (@themeredith) August 16, 2018

Next relationship I get into imma need a $1,500 security deposit first.

— Black Couples (@blvckcouples) December 20, 2018

"People say there are plenty o' fish in the sea. Yea well I got my eye on that one specific emotionally distant salmon w/ commitment issues"

— Julia Ling (@julialing) August 27, 2016

bet if I start calling the mouse in my kitchen my boyfriend hell leave.

— Arooba (@Adiosuckers_) November 1, 2017

Sometimes relationships don't work out because of timing, but most of the time it's because someone is an asshole.

— caprice crane (@capricecrane) October 17, 2011

i love that moment post breakup when girls start posting fire selfies.

— furfante (@nicolemilfie) April 5, 2016

This is by an ex who dumped me pic.twitter.com/jew6OLE3Qx

— Declan Dashin Through The Snow (@Tweet_Dec) November 3, 2017

what advice would you give the next person dating your ex ?

get an exorcist fam.

— Saf (@sxfiyyxh_) January 17, 2018

*casually texts 'why do you deny heaven' to all my exes*

— Tracy the Clayton (@brokeymcpoverty) April 24, 2016

Saying "we can still be friends" after a bad break up is like saying " hey the dog died, but we can still keep it"

— (@AndyAint_Shhh) May 2, 2017

that moment of truth when you log in to see if your ex changed the HBO Go password yet pic.twitter.com/JCLBEGAQFz

— Kristin Harris (@KristinHarris) July 29, 2017

Im newly single and I dont know whether to adopt a cat or get a septum pierce or join a gym or slide into my celebrity crushes DMs so I think Im going to do all of it

— Dana Schwartz (@DanaSchwartzzz) June 18, 2018

99 bottles of beer on the wall
99 bottles of beer
You take one down
You drink the whole thing
Take another one down
You drunk text your ex

— Brandon Calvillo (@BJCalvillo) April 27, 2017

me after a breakup pic.twitter.com/DB4ePqPGkN

— fuck feelings (@iRelateWords) July 27, 2014

Text him again. He probably just forgot that he's in love with you.

— moody monday (@mdob11) March 17, 2014

The final stage of getting over a breakup is realizing you don't like IPAs

— Julie Poptart (@juliepoptart) July 10, 2017

the stages of a breakup:
1. denial
2. anger
3. bargaining
4. taking pictures of everything you do to make sure people know you're having fun

— thomas violence (@thomas_violence) October 5, 2015

One of the worst part of a breakup is you'll never see their dog again, and the dog has no idea why.

— Ethan (@EKM94) January 10, 2015

"I'm still upset about my breakup."
"Hey there's plenty of fish in the sea."
"Yeah."
"Bass...trout..."
"Salmon."
"Lotta fish."
"Cod."
"Cod!"

— MARK LITTLE VERY GOOD (@markmarklittle) May 13, 2016

You know what helped me feel better after my breakup? That I wasn't dating him anymore.

— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) June 12, 2015

i think the worst way you can be hurt on social media is venmo hurt. there's no worse gut punch than seeing your ex receive money from a rando for a cryptic string of emojis that can only mean 'this is flirting. on venmo'

— crissy (@crissymilazzo) July 2, 2018

seeing your ex on a dating app is like launching yourself off a skyscraper but getting flayed by a helicopter rotor before you hit the ground

— Jill Gutowitz (@jillboard) April 18, 2018

the best part of breaking up is folgers in your unwashed cereal bowl please come back samantha im losing it

— Avery Monsen (@averymonsen) October 31, 2015

I drunk dialled my ex but it was the wrong number and made a stranger cry.

— Noodles (@Dawn_M_) February 12, 2016