Growing up, your parents likely told you not to talk to strangers and to be wary of people you dont know who might try to lure you away and harm you also known as stranger danger.

These days, however, top child safety experts are more likely to recommend teaching the concept of tricky people instead and for good reason.

Its a term coined by child safety expert Pattie Fitzgerald, founder of safelyeverafter.com . She defines a tricky person as someone who tricks a kid or a parent into believing theyre a safe person when, in reality, they are not . They might ask a child (rather than another adult) for help, tell a kid to keep a secret from their parents, try to arrange alone time with them (like special outings that dont include a parent), touch their body excessively and/or inappropriately, or invade their personal space.

A tricky person who intends to target a child often uses grooming tricks to gain access and/or privacy with a child. This means gaining the trust of the child or the parent, until personal boundaries become blurry and lines are crossed, Fitzgerald, author of Super Duper Safety School, told HuffPost.

One reason to use the term tricky people? Its more accurate. Consider the fact that more than 90% of reported child sexual abuse cases happen at the hands of people the child knows not strangers according to the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN). Child abductions by strangers are very rare ; most abductions are committed by a family member or acquaintance (though stranger abductions do usually pose more of a threat to the childs safety).

If we are only teaching kids about stranger danger, then we are missing a much larger and more important issue that needs to be addressed, said Fitzgerald.

We need to make it clear that its not just people they dont know who might be unsafe. Adults they do know a relative, a coach, a neighbor, a family friend can be tricky people, too.

Whats more, kids often expect strangers to appear scary or dangerous. But folks who are looking to harm children may actually come across as quite friendly or charming.

The other problem with stranger danger is that even when there is an inappropriate stranger seeking out a child particularly in a public place that person will not seem scary or threatening to your child, but rather outgoing, fun or interesting, Fitzgerald said. It is easy to get tricked when that stranger offers a treat, a toy, a puppy or something else that would grab a childs attention.

The tricky people concept puts more focus on strange behavior than it does on fearing strangers altogether.

Listen to your instincts and remember its not what someone looks like that tells you if they are tricky. Its how they act, behave or seek out your child, Fitzgerald said.

How To Teach Kids About Safety And Tricky People