Singer Zayn Malik remembered his brother and One Direction bandmate Liam Payne in a heart-wrenching Instagram post on Thursday,

Malik seemed shattered as he shared a tender photo of himself and Payne, whose sudden death on Wednesday at age 31 has shaken the music world.

Liam, I have found myself talking out loud to you, hoping you can hear me, I cant help but think selfishly that there was so many more conversations for us to have in our lives, Malik wrote alongside the photo.

The Pillowtalk singer went on to thank Payne for supporting me through some of the most difficult times in my life.

When I was missing home as a 17 yr old kid you would always be there with a positive outlook and reassuring smile and let me know you were my friend and that I was loved, he recalled.

Even though you were younger than me you were always more sensible than me, you were headstrong, opinionated, and gave no fucks about telling people when they were wrong, Malik wrote.

He also touched on the bandmates sometimes tumultuous relationship, writing, Even though we butted heads because of this a few times, I always secretly respected you for it.