Being a parent to an adult child is certainly different from raising a toddler, a school-age kid or even a teenager. What they needed from you five, 10 or 20 years ago isnt what they need from you today.

If your bond with your adult child isnt where you want it to be, dont despair. We asked therapists who deal with family issues to share the most significant things parents can do to create a happier, healthier relationship with their grown kids. Heres what we learned.

1. Stop giving unsolicited advice.

When your adult child comes to you with an issue about their career, their relationship or their own kids, its easy to assume theyre seeking your trusted input on the matter. But consider that they may just be looking for a compassionate ear.

The best way to find out what they need is to ask, Are you looking for advice or are you wanting to vent? said Dallas marriage and family therapist Sarah Epstein .

Adult children may not want consistent feedback on their choices, Epstein told HuffPost. If parents can embrace only offering advice when asked, and learn the skills to listen thoughtfully, their relationship will almost certainly strengthen.

Winifred Reilly , a marriage and family therapist in Berkeley, California, said its important to stay in your lane as the parent of an adult child.

There was a time when we could pick our kids up under one arm and carry them out of the playground. It was our job to call all the shots, Reilly, who is also the author of It Takes One to Tango , told HuffPost. Once theyre adults, we need to be literally and figuratively more hands off.

That doesnt mean you dont play an important role in their life anymore. It just means your role has transitioned to more of a trusted adviser, Reilly said.

Instead of, Heres what I think you should do, a better and more respectful move is, Would you like to hear my thoughts on that? Reilly said.

When invited, we can say what were thinking and ask what theyre thinking. When were not invited, its a good idea not to chime in, said. The overall message needs to be one of love and respect, even if we dont fully agree with their decisions.

2. Show your child that you believe theyre capable of handing difficult situations.

On a related note, West Los Angeles clinical psychologist David Narang said that one of the keys to building a strong relationship with your grown kids is to think of yourself as a sounding board for a powerful adult, instead of the rescuer of a helpless child.

In other words, you should operate under the assumption that your child is capable of tackling the difficult situation at hand, he said.

A common mistake among parents of adult kids is getting too caught up in the struggles their child is facing, Narang said. Perhaps youre a parent who is hell-bent on getting your child to follow your advice. Or maybe you get so worked up about the situation that it makes your already stressed-out child even more overwhelmed, he said.

At this stage of life, your value as a parent is in your capacity to withstand the suffering that your child is trying to tolerate, Narang added.

His advice? Allow your child to air out their distress, and keep the conversation focused on them. Then, help them arrive at their own solutions.

As a parent, your understanding of your childs suffering carries unique power to help him or her feel supported, Narang said. Similarly, your awareness of your childs inner strength has a unique impact to help your child see that strength in him- or herself, especially given your memory of all the times you have witnessed that strength.

Taking this approach will help bring you and your child closer because they will feel your support while still experiencing themself as a competent adult, he said.