One in four U.S. adults has a disability , making it the largest minority group in the country. In spite of how common disabilities are, disabled people still deal with ignorance, stigma , exclusion and lack of accessibility on a regular basis.

Its not just systemic obstacles and callous or thoughtless behavior from strangers that disabled people have to navigate. Sometimes, its people they know like friends, colleagues and acquaintances who mean well but ultimately miss the mark.

We asked disabled people to share what they wish the nondisabled people in their lives knew or understood. (Note that many in the disabled community prefer to use identity-first language rather than person-first language e.g., saying an autistic man instead of a man with autism so thats whats used here for the most part. Other folks prefer person-first language, as they dont consider their disability an inherent part of who they are . When in doubt, follow the individuals lead and ask them their preference if you arent sure.)

1. Being disabled isnt a bad thing whats bad is the way people treat me.

I wish my nondisabled friends knew the hardest part about being disabled isnt my disability itself. Its the way society treats you because of it thats most challenging. We live in a world that is inaccessible and doesnt prioritize the inclusion of people with disabilities. When you look at me, I want you to see my disability and all that comes with it. Disability isnt a bad thing. Its a natural part of the human condition. Ola Ojewumi , patient advocate, writer and founder of Project Ascend