Of all the things couples fight about , division of household labor is often near the top of the list.

A recent YouGov poll of American couples found that chores were among the top five most-argued-about topics.

Although today women make up nearly half of the U.S. workforce, those in heterosexual relationships are still more likely to handle the bulk of the domestic duties , according to a 2020 Gallup report .

Household labor includes physical tasks such as laundry, cleaning, cooking, grocery shopping and child care, but it also encompasses the often invisible job known as the mental load of ensuring these tasks get done: anticipating needs (remembering to buy more dog food), planning (coming up with meals for the week) and delegating (figuring out who is going to pick the kids up early from practice).

Though heterosexual men are generally taking on more domestic duties than they have historically, the majority of the mental load continues to fall to women.

Laura Danger, a Chicago-based coach who facilitates workshops for couples seeking a more equitable division of domestic labor, told HuffPost that its surprisingly easy for couples to slip into antiquated gender roles when they move in together or have kids.

Women arent just doing more labor, the labor theyre doing is mentally and emotionally taxing: anticipating and planning for how to the meet the familys needs, she said.

When you consider, in cis-het couples, who is usually keeping the social calendar, signing kids up for summer camps and ensuring the grocery list is planned and prepared, its often defaulted to mom, she added. Doctors, teachers and coaches often dial mom first. Even the vet usually calls mom before dad!

Studies have found that LGBTQ+ couples tend to divide domestic duties more evenly perhaps because they cant just default to traditional gender roles. After they have kids, however, they often start to split things like heterosexual couples do: with one partner bringing in more income and the other taking on more of the household and child care duties.

Finding a good balance can still be a challenge for all couples, said Annisa Pirasteh, an LGBTQ+-affirming therapist and the owner of Act2Change Therapy & Wellness Center in Atlanta.

LGBTQ+ couples often grapple with how to talk through splitting up household labor, especially if they grew up in homes where chores were divided based on cisgender-heterosexual norms, she told HuffPost.

In an effort to find out how the happiest couples divvy up domestic duties, we asked experts to share some of their secrets. Heres what these couples do differently:

1. They communicate clearly and in great detail about what needs to get done and how.

When dividing up domestic duties, super clear and explicit communication is a relationship saver, Danger said. And its something that most people even those who say they aspire to having an egalitarian partnership dont do.

Couples who do it successfully get into the nitty-gritty details about each and every task on their list. They dont stifle their frustrations (which breeds resentment), make assumptions about whos doing what or behave in passive-aggressive ways.

Danger utilizes the Fair Play method with the couples she works with a system based on Eve Rodskys book by the same name . It involves identifying all the steps involved in completing a single task and agreeing upon a standard for how it should be done.

[This] method provides an opportunity to discuss all of those invisible steps involved with noticing when something needs to be done, planning for it to get done and then following through, Danger said.

2. They schedule time to have these conversations weekly.

Having a one-time conversation hashing out household duties isnt enough. The happiest couples set up a specific time at least once a week to touch base about all things domestic labor.

Use the time to check in, celebrate wins and discuss who will handle which tasks for the coming week, Danger said. Be consistent! The more you practice communicating clearly about the division of labor and problem solving in a healthy way, the easier itll get and the happier youll both be.

Adding yet another item to your familys weekly calendar may seem like a pain. But its worth your while, Danger said.

Investing your time and energy in communicating about a fair division of domestic labor is an investment in the long-term health of your partnership.

3. They play to each others strengths.