Whenever I get baby fever, I look back at the time my cousin got stuck inside of a claw machine pic.twitter.com/yaZs3k2fH2

— CJ (@QTremendo) January 26, 2020

My son just accidentally dumped an entire bottle of salad dressing over his head so thats how my night is going.

— Niki Lenz (@NikiRLenz) October 1, 2018

My son got mad at me yesterday and opened all the bananas in the house. What type of passive aggressive monster... pic.twitter.com/4p2Ucqh9NF

— Vic (@VictorPopeJr) March 9, 2016

Toddler accidentally hits me in the face with a book.
Me: "Oof, that hurt a bit. Can you say sorry?"
Her: "Sorry, book."

— Martha Hampson (@marthie) August 9, 2019

People sometimes ask why I don't want kids. I like sleep mostly, but also because of stuff like this. pic.twitter.com/uDYniHSG91

— Hoodie (@HoodiePanda) September 19, 2015

Toddler "accidentally" dropped her bowl of cereal. As I shamefully bow down to my knees and wipe up her mess, the toddler looks at me, picks up the bowl, with a flick of the wrist spills the remains. She does this every once in a while to let me know she's still in charge.

— Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) December 6, 2018

LMAOOO reasons why Im not ready to be a Parent yet pic.twitter.com/UcTPRu1Mo5

— BlackCultureEntertainment (@ILoveMyCulture) December 17, 2019

My toddler accidentally punched me in the eye but then cuz I cried out in pain she thought it would be fun to intentionally punch me in the other eye and so Im cancelling todays parenting plans.

— Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) May 6, 2019

kids are brutal. This little girl I help at the elementary school asked to see a photo of my boyfriend, when I told her I didnt have one she LOOKED ME UP AND DOWN and said I see why. but hows your day going.

— tona michelle (@teonamichelle4) October 23, 2018

ask me again why I don't want kids pic.twitter.com/YOIuAo4XHG

— hibernating bee (@soapachu) July 28, 2018

My daughter just accidentally dropped her snotty tissue into my coffee and if thats not a metaphor for parenting I dont know what is.

— Rhyming Mama (@sarabellab123) January 9, 2020

When people ask why I don't want kids, this is what I'm going to show them. pic.twitter.com/Jb0VgU7X9g

— Laura (@LauraLikesWine) July 17, 2014

I hope this cures yalls baby fever bc it sure as hell cured mine. pic.twitter.com/Um9w3IB8pT

— heybattabattaschwing (@SchwingMaryLynn) July 13, 2019

Toddlers are savage af. When 3 is done talking to her grandparents she doesnt say bye.

No warning, just "alexa, hang up"

— Kelly Oh! is writing at 16k words (@KellyOhlert) February 12, 2019

Me: We all make mistakes.
5: Even you?
Me: Yep
5: Oh yeah! Like when you're trying to cook food that tastes good but then it doesn't?

— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) April 15, 2016

My 3yo "accidentally" unspooled the entire roll of toilet paper. But don't worry, he "fixed" it. pic.twitter.com/MFKWJ2rNqi

— ReasonsMySonIsCrying (@ReasonsMySonCry) October 24, 2014

2y.o eating his lunch: Papas coffee hot?

Me: Yeah baby its hot, dont touch.

2y.o: Me blow on it for Papa?

It was at this point I witnessed with horror, my 2y.o attempt to blow on my freshly made coffee, only to spit a half eaten chicken nugget straight into it..

— Steve (@papaneedscoffee) January 28, 2020

My 11-year old's birthday card to me. #blessed pic.twitter.com/URbZEQmmQa

— Brian Sack (@brian_sack) October 5, 2015

12 year old I babysit just poured chocolate milk on my head b/c I wouldn't let her eat jellybeans for lunch. Never having kids.

— Anne Marie Miller (@atmiller94) June 2, 2014

Every time I have baby fever I flashback to when my baby sister shoved her poo in my mouth and I thought it was chocolate because she previously had a chocolate bar in her hand

— Nathan (@Nath_S__) January 6, 2019

4: Mommy, you're just like a Disney movie. We should play pretend.
Me: Aww! Sure!
4:You can be the Beast.
Me: ...
4: Or the fat sea witch!

— Marl (@Marlebean) April 17, 2014

Mom holding crying baby: He just needs to be changed.
Me: Yeah hopefully into a puppy or something quieter.

— The Volatile Mermaid (@OhNoSheTwitnt) July 5, 2015

Kids are evil. pic.twitter.com/UFqLuKMvub

— Scott Snyder (@Ssnyder1835) May 12, 2018

Serial killer. pic.twitter.com/IHermjlBi3

— jamie (@gnuman1979) December 12, 2019

Reason #85258954 why I don't want kids pic.twitter.com/SH2OTDg7gP

— NOLA NO CALL 2.0 (@SheDatWeDat) January 29, 2020

Its cute when a non-parent person sees a kid screaming and says, Thats why I dont want kids. Lol. They have no clue

How

Much

Worse

It

Actually

Is

— Dianne Gallagher (@DianneGallagher) December 16, 2018