The day my toddler started asking whats that? was the day I realized how little I know about everything.

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My 5YO woke me up this morning to tell me shes upset because her 1YO sibling woke her up. Is this the circle of life I keep hearing about?

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Took my 8yo to the museum and she asked if every picture was the Mona Lisa then when we left she made sure to tell the people in line dont bother, this museum doesnt even have the Mona Lisa.

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I dont normally like to brag about expensive trips but I just got back from the grocery store, getting gas, and signing my kids up for fall sports.

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My wife and I are the best parents to our kids when we are on a date night and drunk

Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) August 18, 2023","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Vinod Chhaproo","author_url":"https://twitter.com/Chhapiness","cache_age":86400,"description":"My wife and I are the best parents to our kids when we are on a date night and drunk Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) August 18, 2023\n\n","options":{"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"Vinod Chhaproo on 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When your mom watches your toddler for 2 hours. pic.twitter.com/1uynYzrHRI

emily (@emilykmay) August 15, 2023","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"emily","author_url":"https://twitter.com/emilykmay","cache_age":86400,"description":"When your mom watches your toddler for 2 hours. pic.twitter.com/1uynYzrHRI emily (@emilykmay) August 15, 2023\n\n","options":{"_hide_media":{"label":"Hide photos, videos, and cards","value":false},"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"emily on 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PTA room mom: We need some volunteers for the class par

Me: PLATES AND NAPKINS!

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I put the principals name down as the emergency contact on my kids back to school forms, since he can respond fastest without missing work

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14: hey dad...Why should you never fight a dinosaur??

me: why

14: You'll get jurasskicked.

he's a dad. they grow up so fast.

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When you have kids, youll see them fighting with each other a lot but youll also occasionally see them show genuine signs of love and friendship. Those moments are so beautiful and they happen just before the kids start fighting with each other again.

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My kid came home, poured some skittles into a wine glass, and flung himself onto the couch, so I guess he had a rough day

meghan (@deloisivete) August 11, 2023","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"meghan","author_url":"https://twitter.com/deloisivete","cache_age":86400,"description":"My kid came home, poured some skittles into a wine glass, and flung himself onto the couch, so I guess he had a rough day meghan (@deloisivete) August 11, 2023\n\n","options":{"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"meghan on 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Is Goofy a dog? And if so, why cant Pluto talk? And why is the female version of him a cow? This is my brain now.

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I wish I had half the confidence of my youngest son who happily woke me up at 4AM to demand Go Wench (goldfish) and cartoons

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Every time we pass one of these signs my kids say Road work ahead? I sure hope it does!. Makes me laugh every time. pic.twitter.com/WQTaLnFJtY

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All these pictures of kids moving into dorms making me realize Im too old to sleep on a bed that high.

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My Alexa can now understand my toddler.

Pray for me.

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Apparently we arent allowed to add alcohol for teacher to the school supply lists so anyway the school year is already ruined

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People have no idea how hard it is to listen to your kids complain about school and not respond with:

Just wait, it gets worse

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my sister-in-law: sometimes happiness is hard to find.

my 8yo, whispering to me: you should tell her the corner store has blue slurpees.

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Clothes shopping with my 11 y/o daughter when she declares she would love to dress in more bright colors but at the same time, Im a messy eater. It takes many years for some people to reach this level of self-awareness.

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Parenthood is so crazy. We're really out here getting bullied by the people we made.

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