Best Parenting Tweets

"I took my 6yo to softball practice and then realized it was canceled. My 6yo smiled at me, 'Well, look at that, we yelled at each other for nothing.'"
"My wifes upset at me Im going to cheer her up and ask 9YO to play hot cross buns on the recorder"
"What position is it in soccer where my kid tries to find a four leaf clover?"