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Posted: 2023-08-25T13:36:23Z | Updated: 2023-08-25T13:36:23Z

Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Although Twitter has rebranded to X , the humor lives on.

Every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on the social media platform to spread the joy. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents for more!

why do I bother sterilising milk bottles when my kid just licked the floor of Tesco

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why do I bother sterilising milk bottles when my kid just licked the floor of Tesco

madeline odent (@oldenoughtosay) August 22, 2023

No sadder relationship dynamic than my baby (absolutely obsessed with my 3yo) and my 3yo (continually tells us to throw her in the garbage)

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No sadder relationship dynamic than my baby (absolutely obsessed with my 3yo) and my 3yo (continually tells us to throw her in the garbage)

Lucy Huber (@clhubes) August 24, 2023

If you want to be yelling at your kids in the car at 4:30 in the morning before you even get to the end of your driveway, a vacation might be for you!

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If you want to be yelling at your kids in the car at 4:30 in the morning before you even get to the end of your driveway, a vacation might be for you!

Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) August 22, 2023

Would love to have a brief chat with whoever taught my son to roll his eyes and say oh my GOD whenever someone displeases him oh wait

Bess Kalb (@bessbell) August 23, 2023","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Bess Kalb","author_url":"https://twitter.com/bessbell","cache_age":86400,"description":"Would love to have a brief chat with whoever taught my son to roll his eyes and say oh my GOD whenever someone displeases him oh wait Bess Kalb (@bessbell) August 23, 2023\n\n","options":{"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"Bess Kalb on 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Would love to have a brief chat with whoever taught my son to roll his eyes and say oh my GOD whenever someone displeases him oh wait

Bess Kalb (@bessbell) August 23, 2023

One day youre taking care of your babys every need and the next youre like, Did I feed my kids lunch today?

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One day youre taking care of your babys every need and the next youre like, Did I feed my kids lunch today?

Jessie (@mommajessiec) August 19, 2023

went on vacation so my kids could play on their ipads in a different state

-a modern day parenting story

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went on vacation so my kids could play on their ipads in a different state

-a modern day parenting story

That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) August 20, 2023

What I said: its bedtime

What my kid heard: put on a Batman mask and check the hallways for crime

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What I said: its bedtime

What my kid heard: put on a Batman mask and check the hallways for crime

meghan (@deloisivete) August 21, 2023

My 6yo has started calling himself a smarty pants and when I asked him why he thinks that, he said Well, Im smart and I wear pants.

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My 6yo has started calling himself a smarty pants and when I asked him why he thinks that, he said Well, Im smart and I wear pants.

Kevin The Dad (@kevinthedad) August 22, 2023

Halfway through my kids crazy complicated Subway order, the guy asked Where you going with this sandwich, man?

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Halfway through my kids crazy complicated Subway order, the guy asked Where you going with this sandwich, man?

Dude-Bro Dad (@thedadvocate01) August 20, 2023

Me to my husband: \"Don't worry, he's only 2, he'll forget about wanting ice cream for dinner if we don't bring it up.\"

My 2yo: \"Behold, mother, there is the exact space Grandma parked in when she drove me to this playground 3 weeks ago; I was clad in my green Stegosaurus shirt\"

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Me to my husband: "Don't worry, he's only 2, he'll forget about wanting ice cream for dinner if we don't bring it up."

My 2yo: "Behold, mother, there is the exact space Grandma parked in when she drove me to this playground 3 weeks ago; I was clad in my green Stegosaurus shirt"

Amy Colleen (@sewistwrites) August 24, 2023

Paid $75 to take the family to the zoo so my toddler could ooh and ahh over a caterpillar in the parking lot.

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Paid $75 to take the family to the zoo so my toddler could ooh and ahh over a caterpillar in the parking lot.

MumOfTwo (@MumOfTw0) August 19, 2023

My 8YOs drawings of me have improved in detail. Although she still draws my body as a round ball, she now adds a nice touch by filling in the dark circles under my eyes.

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My 8YOs drawings of me have improved in detail. Although she still draws my body as a round ball, she now adds a nice touch by filling in the dark circles under my eyes.

My Life As Dad (@milifeasdad) August 23, 2023

11-year-old: I'm bringing my saxophone home from school tomorrow.

Me: Why?

11: To practice making sounds.

Me: You mean notes?

11: No. We haven't learned those yet.

Lucky us.

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11-year-old: I'm bringing my saxophone home from school tomorrow.

Me: Why?

11: To practice making sounds.

Me: You mean notes?

11: No. We haven't learned those yet.

Lucky us.

James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 23, 2023

My daughter asked me if they had ice cream in the olden days and it took me a minute to realize she was talking about when I was a kid

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My daughter asked me if they had ice cream in the olden days and it took me a minute to realize she was talking about when I was a kid

Katie D (@KatieDeal99) August 22, 2023

My 6yo found money and said it's unfair that I took it from her because she found it. In my house! She found MY money in MY house.

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My 6yo found money and said it's unfair that I took it from her because she found it. In my house! She found MY money in MY house.

Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) August 23, 2023

Remember when your mom would just drop you at the mall and have no way to get in touch with you? I dont even trust my kids to go upstairs alone.

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Remember when your mom would just drop you at the mall and have no way to get in touch with you? I dont even trust my kids to go upstairs alone.

@itssherifield (@itssherifield) August 22, 2023

After I told my son it was time to leave the childrens museum, he replied, I had a bad day and its all your fault! so I replied, awesome. Several moms overheard and gave an understanding laugh, and it was immediate kinship.

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After I told my son it was time to leave the childrens museum, he replied, I had a bad day and its all your fault! so I replied, awesome. Several moms overheard and gave an understanding laugh, and it was immediate kinship.

Lindsay Fickas (@lindsayfickas) August 23, 2023

The eight year old: I wrote another book, my best one yet
Me: Thats so great, do you think youll be a writer when you grow up?
Her: *stares* Did you not hear me, I wrote books. Im a writer already

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The eight year old: I wrote another book, my best one yet
Me: Thats so great, do you think youll be a writer when you grow up?
Her: *stares* Did you not hear me, I wrote books. Im a writer already

Amber Sparks (@ambernoelle) August 22, 2023

I think you're supposed to look at this painting and think something terrible is written in the letter but as a mom I can tell you she's just trying to write a simple grocery list with a 4 year old around and she's given up all hope of ever finishing. pic.twitter.com/JcAVZaMFl8

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I think you're supposed to look at this painting and think something terrible is written in the letter but as a mom I can tell you she's just trying to write a simple grocery list with a 4 year old around and she's given up all hope of ever finishing. pic.twitter.com/JcAVZaMFl8

Lucy Huber (@clhubes) August 22, 2023

Not to brag but I finally got the sand out from the car from the last beach trip in 2018

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Not to brag but I finally got the sand out from the car from the last beach trip in 2018

Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) August 23, 2023

\"Welcome to daycare. Here's your eye infection.\"

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"Welcome to daycare. Here's your eye infection."

Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) August 24, 2023

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My kid has been begging for a pet so I bought her a rug and told her it was her carpet. She didnt laugh.

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My kid has been begging for a pet so I bought her a rug and told her it was her carpet. She didnt laugh.

I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) August 21, 2023

Shout out to the mom who didnt blink when my kid told her that I keep all of her art projects forever, were in this together and you had my back

Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) August 21, 2023","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Real Life Mommy","author_url":"https://twitter.com/reallifemommy3","cache_age":86400,"description":"Shout out to the mom who didnt blink when my kid told her that I keep all of her art projects forever, were in this together and you had my back Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) August 21, 2023\n\n","options":{"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"Real Life Mommy on 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Shout out to the mom who didnt blink when my kid told her that I keep all of her art projects forever, were in this together and you had my back

Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) August 21, 2023