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Posted: 2024-05-31T17:40:01Z | Updated: 2024-05-31T17:40:01Z

Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Although Twitter has rebranded to X , the humor lives on.

Every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on the social media platform to spread the joy. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents for more!

I can't prove he's involved (yet), but my 3yo has been obsessing over tow trucks for weeks and today we blew a tire on nothing for no reason

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I can't prove he's involved (yet), but my 3yo has been obsessing over tow trucks for weeks and today we blew a tire on nothing for no reason

sarah (@sarahradz_) May 28, 2024

whenever flight attendants are like, \"if you have to assist a young child with an oxygen mask, put yours on first\", i just think about how my child would scream at me, \"NO MOMMY, I DO IT!!!!!!\"

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whenever flight attendants are like, "if you have to assist a young child with an oxygen mask, put yours on first", i just think about how my child would scream at me, "NO MOMMY, I DO IT!!!!!!"

emily may (@emilykmay) May 26, 2024

No one is full of more false hope than a parent with a new chore chart.

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No one is full of more false hope than a parent with a new chore chart.

Simon Holland (@simoncholland) May 29, 2024

7: so dolls werent invented when you were a kid either right mom?

me: for the last time it was just the INTERNET

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7: so dolls werent invented when you were a kid either right mom?

me: for the last time it was just the INTERNET

That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) May 25, 2024

Not now sweetie, mommy is trying to figure out if her Facebook friend who changed her last name to her middle name is getting a divorce

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Not now sweetie, mommy is trying to figure out if her Facebook friend who changed her last name to her middle name is getting a divorce

Lydia Kauppi (@lydiakauppi) May 27, 2024

took my 6 yr old to the bathroom
at a friends yesterday & she looked around & said wow..this bathroom is so pretty & shiny & then she wiped & was like mom you HAVE to try this toilet paper; its so thick and soft!!!!! and long story short my kid just discovered wealth

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took my 6 yr old to the bathroom
at a friends yesterday & she looked around & said wow..this bathroom is so pretty & shiny & then she wiped & was like mom you HAVE to try this toilet paper; its so thick and soft!!!!! and long story short my kid just discovered wealth

ely kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) May 26, 2024

The most exhausting part of parenting that isnt talked about enough is that kids constantly want you to watch the dance they just made up

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The most exhausting part of parenting that isnt talked about enough is that kids constantly want you to watch the dance they just made up

Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) May 26, 2024

3yo (confidently): But Mommy, people do not eat cows.
Me: Uh, bud, we do. Hamburgers are made of cow.
3yo (uncertain laughter): Mommy, that is funny for pretend. But I mean for REAL.
Me: Yes, for real!
3yo (w/ scorn) No.
Me: What do you think burgers are made of?
3yo: People?

Amy Colleen (@sewistwrites) May 27, 2024","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Amy Colleen","author_url":"https://twitter.com/sewistwrites","cache_age":86400,"description":"3yo (confidently): But Mommy, people do not eat cows.Me: Uh, bud, we do. Hamburgers are made of cow.3yo (uncertain laughter): Mommy, that is funny for pretend. But I mean for REAL.Me: Yes, for real!3yo (w/ scorn) No.Me: What do you think burgers are made of?3yo: People? 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3yo (confidently): But Mommy, people do not eat cows.
Me: Uh, bud, we do. Hamburgers are made of cow.
3yo (uncertain laughter): Mommy, that is funny for pretend. But I mean for REAL.
Me: Yes, for real!
3yo (w/ scorn) No.
Me: What do you think burgers are made of?
3yo: People?

Amy Colleen (@sewistwrites) May 27, 2024

My 6yo just told me all about this new place he heard about and wants to visit this weekend, so I asked for more details, aaaand it's a casino

meghan (@deloisivete) May 29, 2024","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"meghan","author_url":"https://twitter.com/deloisivete","cache_age":86400,"description":"My 6yo just told me all about this new place he heard about and wants to visit this weekend, so I asked for more details, aaaand it's a casino meghan (@deloisivete) May 29, 2024\n\n\n","options":{"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"meghan on Twitter / 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My 6yo just told me all about this new place he heard about and wants to visit this weekend, so I asked for more details, aaaand it's a casino

meghan (@deloisivete) May 29, 2024

My husband was telling our 3yo that the breakfast he made her slaps and my extremely literal child was like mostly it chews

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My husband was telling our 3yo that the breakfast he made her slaps and my extremely literal child was like mostly it chews

girl fieri (@realgirl_fieri) May 29, 2024

Who wouldve thought babys favorite bedtime story would be the air fryer recipe book that was thrown at me at a North Carolina show. Really makes you think

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Who wouldve thought babys favorite bedtime story would be the air fryer recipe book that was thrown at me at a North Carolina show. Really makes you think

Suki Waterhouse (@sukiwaterhouse) May 29, 2024

hypothetically speaking if your child brought a snail in the house, placed it in a doll house and then 10 minutes later it disappeared from said doll house what do you think happened to it and where might it turn up????

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hypothetically speaking if your child brought a snail in the house, placed it in a doll house and then 10 minutes later it disappeared from said doll house what do you think happened to it and where might it turn up????

amil (@amil) May 31, 2024

I had high hopes and dreams for major accomplishments this year but my 6yo is still telling me her story.

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I had high hopes and dreams for major accomplishments this year but my 6yo is still telling me her story.

My Life As Dad (@milifeasdad) May 29, 2024

My daughter got to pack her own lunch for the last day of school and it included a donut, 2 bags of chips, a shaker of sprinkles, and 1 tiny baby carrot because its important to be healthy

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My daughter got to pack her own lunch for the last day of school and it included a donut, 2 bags of chips, a shaker of sprinkles, and 1 tiny baby carrot because its important to be healthy

Katie D (@KatieDeal99) May 30, 2024

My children are hanging out with my dad today. I was trying to send him a list of reminders and he told me if I text him again, he keeping them.

Me: pic.twitter.com/wBWBcvNwsQ

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My children are hanging out with my dad today. I was trying to send him a list of reminders and he told me if I text him again, he keeping them.

Me: pic.twitter.com/wBWBcvNwsQ

Mom (@themultiplemom) May 25, 2024

You can have kids or you can always know where your scissors & tape are.

But you cant have both.

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You can have kids or you can always know where your scissors & tape are.

But you cant have both.

Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) May 26, 2024

My 6 year old put a bucket over her head and climbed the new concrete stairs in our backyard. She immediately tripped & scraped her knee. Once the tears had dried, she sat down for some sober reflection and devised a plan to avoid a similar accident in the future: softer stairs

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My 6 year old put a bucket over her head and climbed the new concrete stairs in our backyard. She immediately tripped & scraped her knee. Once the tears had dried, she sat down for some sober reflection and devised a plan to avoid a similar accident in the future: softer stairs

Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) May 28, 2024

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My 7yo randomly asked, \"how much money do we have in our bank account?\" We? Lmao

Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) May 25, 2024","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Marcy G","author_url":"https://twitter.com/BunAndLeggings","cache_age":86400,"description":"My 7yo randomly asked, \"how much money do we have in our bank account?\" We? 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My 7yo randomly asked, "how much money do we have in our bank account?" We? Lmao

Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) May 25, 2024