31 Tweets About Married Life That Are Ridiculously Relatable

A marriage is made up of some high highs, some low lows and a whole bunch of ordinary moments in between .

Sure, married life can be mundane at times never-ending loads of laundry , ongoing arguments about the proper way to load a dishwasher and too many corny dad jokes to count. But couples who go the distance are able to find some humor in the everyday routine.

Below, weve gathered some truly funny and relatable marriage tweets that will help you get through a long week:

When Im not feeling well my husband will check on me to see if Im still making dinner.
— mmma unfiltered (@MommaUnfiltered) December 30, 2018

wife hoping for a normal day: good morning
me: im gonna try to become left handed
— brent (@murrman5) December 5, 2018

Im going to meet my husband at the finish line of his 10-mile trail race so I can tell him how I never fell back to sleep after his alarm went off this morning.
— Amy Dillon (@amydillon) December 2, 2018

My wife spent six weeks researching customer reviews of vacuum cleaners and one time I bought a new car because I had the same dog as the guy on the commercial.
— eric (@ericsshadow) December 25, 2018

My husband teases me that I only use my phone for Twitter but hes wrong cause I also use it to make fake phone calls when I see someone I dont wanna talk to.
— Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) January 3, 2019

Got one of those weighted blankets and after a night of hogging the covers my wife woke up ripped.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) December 8, 2018

Wife - *talking about literally anyone*

Me - *not looking up* whos that?

~ marriage
— Jurisdoc (@jurisdoc741) December 19, 2018

My wife just found a coupon for lice treatment and yelled to everyone in the house if youre gonna get lice, people, get it now!
— Swim Jeans (@ShortSleeveSuit) January 6, 2019

There's a piece of junk mail lying in the middle of the floor in my kitchen. I'm doing an experiment to see how long it will take either my husband or 2 teenage sons to pick it up and throw it away.

We are on day 3

Currently taking bets.
— Diane Auten (@DianeAuten) December 23, 2018

Me: Look at those poor babies. Im gonna bring them in out of the cold.

Wife: *not looking up from her book* It better not be more raccoons.
— Son of Dad (@ThugRaccoons) January 2, 2019

[50 years from now]

Me: *writes elaborate message to husband on Ouija board*

Husband: K
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) December 30, 2018

I noticed my wife and kids were wearing vests so I put one on just so I could say vest day ever like a million times. Then I took it off just so I could mention that I wasnt as invested as they were.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) December 30, 2018

If youre overly competitive about being more tired than someone else, marriage might be for you.
— Darla (@ddsmidt) January 4, 2019

Wife: I am not talking to you

Me: ok

Wife: dont you want to know the reason?

Me: No,I respect and trust your decision
— Super Mark (@supermarkusa) January 3, 2019

I just ate my wifes leftover hamburger like theres no tomorrow.

Narrator: If she still wants that hamburger, for him there may very well be no tomorrow.
— Jester D (@JustMeTurtle) January 6, 2019

ME: *speaks*

HUSBAND: *doesnt hear me*

ME: *shouts*

HUSBAND: *doesnt hear me*

ME: *dances, screaming in his face*

HUSBAND: *doesnt hear me*

ME: *toots whilst minding my business*

HUSBAND: What?
— Momarazzi. (@Mirimade) January 4, 2019

Oh! Youve got problems? My husband reads the entire restaurant menu OUT LOUD...

before we go.
— Teri Daniels (@bylinetd) December 29, 2018

My wife's most common second question - "You really can't smell that?"
— Jack Boot (@IamJackBoot) January 3, 2019

If I figure out how to put this duvet cover on by myself this marriage is in serious trouble.
— mmma unfiltered (@MommaUnfiltered) December 9, 2018

Nobody mentions the strain your marriage experiences when your spouse starts experimenting with turtle necks.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) December 29, 2018

My husband just referred to sex as 'being intimate' so I'll be looking at nursing homes tomorrow I guess.
— The Evolving Arm (@leftarmisme) January 3, 2019

*getting sexy boudoir photos taken for my husband*

Photographer: Ma'am, in the next shot, could you please put down the cheeseburger?
— Aimee Helene (@AimeeHelene1) January 3, 2019

I sent my husband to the grocery store for fresh parsley, he came home with a snowblower and a jar of dehydrated onions. Marriage is delightful.
— (@3sunzzz) January 3, 2019

(You can make Wolverine claws if you hold golf tees between your fingers, which your husband doesn't think is funny because they are not toys, Anne.)
— Annie Hatfield (@HatfieldAnne) December 28, 2018

Its really cold today and now I need to figure out how to make this my husbands fault.
— JPo (@Peauxtassium) December 12, 2018

I didnt marry him for the waffle iron, but it didnt hurt.
— Mary (@AnniemuMary) January 6, 2019

ME: I know you're busy so I did the dishes today

HER: Wow, who are you and what have you done with my husband

ME: Ha ha, you caught me... *peeling off face* I am a cyborg from a dying galaxy and
— Andrew Fowler (@fowlerism) January 3, 2019

Husband: You cant go out in those leggings.

Me: *sigh* For the last time LEGGINGS ARE PANTS and Im not letting society dictate whats acceptable for me to wear to the mall!

Husband: Okay, but theres a hole in your butt.
— your mom (@eff_yeah_steph) December 18, 2018

Me: What do you think of your haircut?

Wife: I need more volume

Me: WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR HAIRCUT?
— Jon (@ArfMeasures) January 7, 2019

Pretty sure my wife only married me to break down Amazon Prime boxes.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) December 15, 2018

We bought a dishwasher because arguing over how to properly load it was missing from our marriage.
— Dan Regan (@Social_Mime) January 6, 2019