Wasnt planning on spending my hottest years living like the grandparents in Charlie and the Chcolate Factory but here we are

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Netflix be like we know exactly what movie you talkin bout but we aint got it lol

The Emperor (@GiftedAsia) February 18, 2021","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"The Emperor","author_url":"https://twitter.com/GiftedAsia","cache_age":86400,"description":"Netflix be like we know exactly what movie you talkin bout but we aint got it lol The Emperor (@GiftedAsia) February 18, 2021\n\n","options":{"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"The Emperor on 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stfu before I open a nature valley bar on ur bed

e (@eemannnnn__) February 17, 2021","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"e ","author_url":"https://twitter.com/eemannnnn__","cache_age":86400,"description":"stfu before I open a nature valley bar on ur bed e (@eemannnnn__) February 17, 2021\n\n","options":{"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"e on 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One day Im gonna write a book about a recipe blogger that confesses to murder in every single recipe on their website but they never get caught because no one reads the 12 pages of text before the recipe.

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i thought this year would be different but no... he sent me some other hoes v day gift. idk who mia mor is but i hope hes happy, worst valentines day ever. pic.twitter.com/dCox0gQjYx

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good time to play the game Did They Not Post or Did They Break Up?

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babe whats wrong? youve hardly embodied my idealized version of you today

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my power came back on while i was sleep and my room was bright red bc of my LED lights, thought i woke up in hell bitch

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if you are one of 101 dalmatians personally i think you should unionize

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hottie with a body implies the existence of hottie without a body......how do i become HER

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great news uglies, all LA sixes and under are now eligible for the vaccine

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I want the gritty backstory of Gus Gus. pic.twitter.com/eJ4PZ1PvTJ

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Im sorry, but if youve never dropped your kids off in Cancun for a play date during a pandemic and a humanitarian crisis in your home state thats probably because youre just a liberal Hollywood elitist with no values.

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i used to check my phone like twice during a movie and now i check the movie like twice during my phone

Dana Donnelly (@danadonly) February 13, 2021","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Dana Donnelly","author_url":"https://twitter.com/danadonly","cache_age":86400,"description":"i used to check my phone like twice during a movie and now i check the movie like twice during my phone Dana Donnelly (@danadonly) February 13, 2021\n\n","options":{"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"Dana Donnelly on 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I know the birds that flew south for winter mad as hell right now.

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Wait Albert Einstein was real? I thought he was a theoretical physicist

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Forgive me, Im a Jew. Is Lent the one where a rabbit lays eggs in your yard or the one where the guy with the white beard breaks into your houses?

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oh the gap on my resume? i can totally explain. i was hanging out

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wake up in pyjamas shower



change into new pyjamas

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so many bosses have told me some variant on it seems as if youre only here for the paycheck and like. yeah

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