who is more forsaken than the person on the group text who writes the last thing & everyone suddenly decides to stop responding

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You honestly have to respect my lyft driver who did NOT drive me to my destination, but rather stopped before it and simply said, no more

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As summer approaches, I feel it is my civic duty to tell you your natural deodorant does not work.

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dating a very social person in their 30s is like starting a show in its 20th season with 125 characters and 3,000 storyarcs to learn

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snow white broke into a house in the woods and did chores. wow, boring. goldilocks, the true hero, broke in to a house, made some judgements, and then took a nap. i have no notes

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I met my amazing husband in my 30s on OkCupid and you can too! I dont think he ever deleted his profile

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journalism is hilarious ppl just go to places and starting asking like hey what the fuck is going on here

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what if f scott fitzgerald came back up to earth and said its pronounced jatsby and left

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its interesting how some girls can pull off cornrows and make it look so chic. cus i just be lookin like a point guard.

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Soooo my husband just came crashing through the attic of our new home today after I told him to leave the work up there to the professionals and I

Anyway, how is your day going? pic.twitter.com/m8h6g9EdYe

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Yeah I have a daily routine:
-forget to eat breakfast until 2pm
-lay on my bed in a towel
-eat dinner at 5
-go to bed between 11pm and 6am

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Took my sister to dinner last night & at the end the waiter said half & half? my sis hugged her bag and nuh uhh and pointed at me

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You see this crisp 20 dollar bill? One hour of silence and its yours, me to an 11yr old just now. I am nailing this aunting shit.

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these teens just recorded me failing to parallel park while blaring olivia rodrigo, do not tell me if you see it on tiktok

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the man in the background is me seeing this outfit, too pic.twitter.com/qPAacdOMWE

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i have come across so many of the same people on dating apps over the years ive started to see them as coworkers

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i think it would be really fun if the graduate with the lowest GPA also gave a speech. the anti-valedictorian if you will

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they really just said throw every single word into this sentence https://t.co/7nlMXXblDD

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i don't like gen z/millenial discourse because as a cusp kid it just feels like watching my parents fight and having to confront the fact that i've inherited both of their irritating character flaws

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Me: I hate drama.

Also me: Reads all 258 comments on a heated Facebook post thread that is 100 percent not my business.

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