4: Mommy, where do babies come from?
Me: Well, sweetie, when two people tolerate each other very much...

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when my kids ask where babies come from, I tell them a claw machine. a claw machine full of babies.

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8- Mom, where do babies come from?
Me- From backrubs honey.

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4: Mommy, where do babies come from?

Me: Mostly alcohol and poor choices.

4: What?

Me: What?

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\"Dad, where do babies come from?\"
\"Well, son, you know when a man & a woman love each other? [leans in close] well you've ruined that.\"

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Kid: Mom, where do babies come from?

Me: *makes internet dial-up noise for 30 minutes*

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If you lay down on the floor long enough, your kids will eventually think you're dead & will stop asking where babies come from.

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My 6 year old asked where babies came from.

I told him the truth.

While I was sitting and basking in my pride at being an Honest Mom, he just stared before saying: I wasnt expecting that. That was inappropriate.

Then: DID THE DOCTORS WATCH YOU DO IT

I shoulda lied.

Arianna Bradford (@thearibradford) September 18, 2020","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Arianna Bradford","author_url":"https://twitter.com/thearibradford","cache_age":86400,"description":"My 6 year old asked where babies came from.I told him the truth.While I was sitting and basking in my pride at being an Honest Mom, he just stared before saying: I wasnt expecting that. That was inappropriate. Then: DID THE DOCTORS WATCH YOU DO ITI shoulda lied. Arianna Bradford (@thearibradford) September 18, 2020\n\n","options":{"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"Arianna Bradford on 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Son: where do babies come from?
Me: well, when a man and a women love each other very much, and theres nothing they want to watch on Netflix--

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My son asked me where babies come from, and to distract him I said \"some day we're all going to die.\"

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My kid: Where do babies come from?

Me: pic.twitter.com/nJ2WBosJFy

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5-year-old: Where do babies come from?

Me: When two people love each other very much, they make a mutual decision to ruin their lives.

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Kid: Dad, where do babies come from?
Me: Um...
Kid:
Me: You mix baby oil with baby powder. Stir in baby peas. Then you-
Kid: Im asking mom.
Me:

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*Googles \"where do babies come from?\" to make sure I have it correct because I don't think my kid believed my original answer*

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Sorry I told your kid there's no Santa but he asked me where babies come from and I panicked

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My kid is 8. A few months ago she asked me & hubby, not where do babies come from but \"How did you get pregnant?\" And she stood there....

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Kid: Mom, where do babies come from?

Me: Ill tell you when youre older.

Kid: Mom, who is Kim Kardashian?

Me: So, babies happen when a man...

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My daughter asked me where babies come from so I distracted her with cake for breakfast.

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3-year-old: Where do babies come from?

Me: Poor impulse control and dollar store condoms.

3: Ill ask Mommy.

Me: Good call.

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My 4 yr old asked where babies come from & as I started stammering out an answer she clarified she was asking where the FIRST babies came from. And who took care of them. So I just explained sex anyway because its easier

Molly Erdman (@erdmanmolly) July 24, 2018","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Molly Erdman","author_url":"https://twitter.com/erdmanmolly","cache_age":86400,"description":"My 4 yr old asked where babies come from & as I started stammering out an answer she clarified she was asking where the FIRST babies came from. And who took care of them. 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Having kids is fun because when you're already running late, you also need to stop & lie about where babies come from.

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My 8yo: Where do babies come from?

My husband: From mommy's belly?

8yo: ALL the babies??!

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Overheard my 6yo telling his grandmother that \"babies come from wine\", making 3 generations of us who finally figured that out.

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Remy: \"Mom, where do babies come from?\" Me: \"God.\" Remy: \"But where do they actually come from?\" Me: \"Jesus.\" #Fierceevent

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Daddy, where do babies come from?
Me: New phone. Who dis?

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Before he fell asleep, my child asked me how babies are made. I feel as though I deserve all the whiskey for getting through that calmly.

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Play a game with me? Type Babies come from.. then choose the center predictive text to finish your sentence.

Heres mine: Babies come from the lake people.

This checks out.

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You wannna know where babies come from? Well son, when a mommy & a daddy love each other very much they put down their phones long enough to

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A doctor named Stork so I can tell my next kid that the Stork delivered her.

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[After my wife explains to our kids where babies come from]

ME: Thats wild.

WIFE: You knew this.

ME: I know but you get used to it... When you actually think about it again its absolutely insane.

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My kid asked where babies come from and I said everywhere, man, theyre worldwide.

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Son: Daddy, where do babies come from?

Me: I dont know, but when I find out [gritting teeth] Im shuttin that place down!

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Toddler:
Babies come from the baby store.

Me:
Thats funny. Can you give my uterus and cervix the GPS coordinates to this establishment? And a Groupon link?

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*in car*

6yo: Mommy, where do babies come from?
Me: Whoa! Look at that hawk!
6yo: What, where?!

Husband: We should talk about the family budget.
Me: Whoa! Look, a sign that says free dirt.
H: What, where?!?

Jessie (@mommajessiec) May 14, 2018","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Jessie","author_url":"https://twitter.com/mommajessiec","cache_age":86400,"description":"*in car*6yo: Mommy, where do babies come from?Me: Whoa! Look at that hawk!6yo: What, where?!Husband: We should talk about the family budget. Me: Whoa! Look, a sign that says free dirt. H: What, where?!? 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My 7 yo asked where babies come from and I choked. Long story short, now I have to make a wedding dress for the cat.

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[kisses daughter goodnight]
Sleep tight.

\"Daddy, where do babies come from?\"

Amazon.

\"Why's it take 9 months?\"

Shipping. Go to sleep.

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child: where do babies come from
me: staying in your hometown after high school

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Kid: Where do babies come from?

Me: pic.twitter.com/7GyV25eKrN

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me: our son asked where babies come from

wife: hes too young, tell him the stork

[later]
me: your mom fucked a stork

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My kid asked me where babies come from and I said \"Ask your Mom. I'm still trying to figure out why Garfield talks and Odie doesn't\"

Darin Loves Bacon (@darinlovesbacon) June 19, 2017","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Darin Loves Bacon","author_url":"https://twitter.com/darinlovesbacon","cache_age":86400,"description":"My kid asked me where babies come from and I said \"Ask your Mom. 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1. Hide babies all over house.
2. If a kid asks, \"Where do babies come from?\" laugh, \"Where DON'T they come from!\" and open every cabinet.

Matt Roller (@rolldiggity) October 6, 2012","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Matt Roller","author_url":"https://twitter.com/rolldiggity","cache_age":86400,"description":"1. Hide babies all over house.2. If a kid asks, \"Where do babies come from?\" laugh, \"Where DON'T they come from!\" and open every cabinet. 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I'm glad that my son wants to know where babies come from but he's only 4 -- how could he not remember?

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Trying to convince my stepson that kids come from Babies-R-Us and we still have his receipt to return him. Stay tuned.

Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) January 15, 2014","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Rodney Lacroix","author_url":"https://twitter.com/RodLacroix","cache_age":86400,"description":"Trying to convince my stepson that kids come from Babies-R-Us and we still have his receipt to return him. Stay tuned. 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My daughter asked me where babies come from. I'd like to use my phone-a-friend now.

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4: Daddy where do babies come from?

Me: Storks of course.

[later]

4: *packing bag*

Me: Where are you going, son?

4: On a journey. To find my real father the stork.

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