Happy couples who have been together awhile can teach us all a thing or two about how to sustain and nurture a strong, loving connection for years to come .

We asked couples therapists who have seen the good, the bad and the ugly what things people in happy partnerships rarely ever do.

We use the word rarely because even people in the healthiest relationships occasionally slip up theyre human, after all. But most of the time they treat each other in thoughtful, understanding and respectful ways.

Heres what we can learn from them:

1. They dont shy away from tough conversations.

No matter how compatible they are, no two partners are going to see eye-to-eye on every issue; disagreements will inevitably arise . Rather than sweeping their feelings under the rug to avoid a hard conversation, happy couples are capable of talking openly and honestly about the touchy stuff, like money, in-laws, parenting, sex and everything in between.

Leaving important issues unexplored damages trust and leads to resentment and disengagement, Winifred M. Reilly , a marriage and family therapist in Berkeley, California, and author of It Takes One to Tango , told HuffPost. While tackling these issues takes patience and curiosity, along with courage, happy couples recognize that the reward for being honest and open is a greater sense of connection and a more satisfying life together.

2. They dont keep score.

Miami marriage and family therapist Amanda Baquero said happy partners dont act like emotional accountants, carefully tallying each others good and bad deeds.

Scorekeeping sounds like: I always do this for them, but they never do it for me in return, or Last week I said this four times, but they only said it once, Baquero said.

In a healthy relationship, both partners do loving things for one another because they want to not because theyre expecting the other to return the favor. But if things get really unbalanced , the couple is able to talk through it in a respectful, rather than accusatory, tone.

This might sound like, For the past few weeks, I have felt like Im taking on a bigger load than usual. Can we talk about that? Baquero said

3. They dont hold grudges.

Unhappy couples allow frustrations and disappointments to create distance between them, whereas happy ones accept that neither they nor their partners are perfect, Reilly said. Theyre willing to apologize and forgive.

Those in solid relationships dont assume negative intent and are open to readily repairing ruptures, said Marni Feuerman , a couples therapist in Boca Raton, Florida.

Theres a mindset the couple has around knowing that its really hard to be in a relationship and not make some mistakes or unwittingly cause hurt, she said. They can make, and also take in, a sincere apology and move on.

4. They dont call each other names.

Even in the heat of the moment, happy couples rarely, if ever, resort to name-calling because they understand that kind of communication is counterproductive and leads to defensiveness, negativity and resentment, Baquero said.

When an unhappy couple enters my office, they are usually stuck in communication patterns that include contempt, name-calling and negativity, Baquero said. I often hear partners call each other idiot, loser, nobody and other expletives.

Of course, even people in good relationships experience anger, frustration and disappointment toward their partner from time to time. But their overall view of their partner remains positive, supportive and respectful, Baquero said.