A Guide to 'Mom'ology

Simple Tips to Help You Discover What Really Matters

an exclusive feature from Grandparentslink.com

We know grandparents can appreciate the labors of raising children (!), so our expert parenting coach Bonnie Compton shares insights and suggestions for consideration.

Recently I overheard a conversation between a young mother and her mom. You used to make mothering look so easyits anything but easy! What am I doing wrong?

Her mother replied, Youre not doing anything wrong. Being a mom was never easy, but your world is so much more complicated than mine ever was. You have lots of choices, and many more items on your to-do list. You also have much more parenting advice available to you than I ever did. Between Dr. Spock, and myself, I guess I just figured it out as I went. And believe me, there were times I was flying by the seat of my pants!

Moms, thats pretty much it. You figure it out as you go. Day by day, moment by moment. Of course its wise to have an overall plan. It helps to have a vision for your family, a vision that includes values and structure for your children. But its actually through your daily experience with your kids that youll discover whats really importantwhat really matters. And remember, you dont have to have all the answers. But by being mindful, and with your childrens help (yes, they are here to teach you!), youll find your own answers.

To help get you started, here are a few Mindful Mothering Tips from my book, Mothering with Courage, to help you discover what really matters:

Feeling overscheduled and overwhelmed? Drop one item off your to do list and dont replace it with another! You might begin to enjoy a little less busy schedule and a bit more time to slow down. Let go of whats not working or no longer serving you or your family.

SimplifySimplifySimplify

Your kids want your attention. And theyll fight mightily to get it. They want to be seen, heard and acknowledged. One of the best ways to acknowledge your child is to first acknowledge their feelings. Remember, your children have a voice. Its important to allow them to use it. When youre able to honor who they are (not who you want them to be), you allow them to grow into who they were meant to be.

Family meetings provide a great way to keep your family running smoothly. Successful businesses schedule weekly meetings. They dont wait to put out the fires on a daily basis. Make the meetings part of a fun family night! Kids love to be a part of decision making and they often have great suggestions.

Positive messages empower your children and boost their self-worth. Like wildflower seeds planted in a meadow, they blossom and spread over time. Sometime, its the smallest of seeds or messages that garner the most vibrant flower. Your messages have the power to nurture your childrens hearts and cultivate their growth!

Children who do not feel connected to their parents become more resistant to parental guidance and rules. The key ingredient for imparting your parental wisdom and improving your childs behavior is having a healthy connection with them. When your child feels connected with you, they are more open to learn from you. And guess what? When your relationship with your child improves, so does their behavior!

Moms, youve got this! Youre doing an amazing job (and most likely when youre kids are grown and gone, theyll tell you).

If youd like to learn more about yourself and your kids and learn how to navigate this messy journey of motherhood, please pick up a copy of my book Mothering with CourageThe Mindful Approach to Becoming a Mom Who Listens More, Worries Less, and Loves Deeply.

A GUIDE TO MOM OLOGY is an exclusive feature for grandparentslink.com by BONNIE COMPTON, APRN, BC, CPNP, has worked with families for more than thirty years as a child and adolescent therapist, parent coach, and pediatric nurse practitioner. She is passionate about making a difference in the lives of children and families. By giving parents the tools to parent mindfully, Bonnie inspires them to wake up to what to really matters. Whether it is through individual therapy, coaching, or parenting classes she offers, Bonnie believes that it is possible to make positive changes in any family situationand its never too late! She is a writer, speaker, workshop, and retreat facilitator and hosts her own podcast radio program, Wholehearted Parenting Radio, which is available on iTunes, Web Talk Radio, Radioactive Broadcasting Network, and Stitcher Radio. Bonnie has appeared as a parenting expert on numerous television and radio shows, and has written parenting articles in magazines and newspapers. She is also a certified ScreamFree Parent Leader. Bonnie lives in Charleston, SC, with her husband. She is a mom of four adult children and believes that being a mother has been her most important job. She also loves being Gramma to her three beautiful granddaughters.