A Lesson Learned About Patriarchy, and an Apology

One valuable thing that Ive taken from leftist ideology is the concept of self-criticism. This is a practice of looking back upon ones actions and reckoning with how they may have gone against your beliefs.

I need to self-criticize and apologize to a specific woman, Graceanne Parks. I did something to her that I should not have.

One belief that I strongly hold, which has only been intensified by what Wikipedia calls the Weinstein effect , is that Western society, and the U.S. in particular, is fundamentally patriarchal. Patriarchy exists like white supremacy does - it is a system of institutions, cultural norms, and belief systems that pervades every aspect of our society.

Rape culture is a part of patriarchy, and it involves the practice of shaming women for how they react to sexual assault, abuse, or harassment. One important way to counteract that, I would argue, is to support women, who are much more likely to become victims than men are.

I did not support Graceanne Parks the way I should have. I am not saying that she is a victim of anything - that is for her to decide. But she is a woman and if I consider myself principled and an ally of feminism and an enemy of patriarchy, then I should have supported her, even when it did not suit me personally.

I publicly posted private messages she had sent to several people, which I had received from the recipients, to prove a point that ultimately was not even about Graceanne. I used her words, which were not meant for me or for the world at large, against her.

It doesnt matter what point I was trying to prove - I should not have done this and I deeply regret it. This reminds me that, no matter how good of an ally I consider myself, I will always be susceptible to making these types of lapses in good judgment.

I am formally and publicly apologizing to Graceanne Parks for what I did. There is no excuse, and doing the wrong thing for (what I thought were) the right reasons is still the wrong thing.

I will learn from this and do better in the future.