A Tale Of 3 Museums: Palaces To Phalluses

REYKJAVIC, Iceland -- Moseying around the downtown shopping lanes of Icelands capital you probably wouldnt expect to come across a phallological museum. In plain English, a penis museum. Yes, for real. Tucked away inside a plain wrapper kind of storefront, the museum touted as the only one of its kind in the world has well over 200, er, specimens on display.

Some visitors try to keep a straight face, some giggle and some arent sure how to act as they browse around specimens ranging from a hamsters tiny private part (you need a magnifying glass to see it) to a 5-foot-long tip of an organ from a blue whale.

The museum reportedly hosts some 11,000 visitors a year, about 60 percent women. Were a must-see for students specializing in phallological studies, the manager said.

SUVA, Fiji -- What in the world could Thomas Baker have been thinking when he started fiddling with a hair comb worn by a Fijian chief in 1867? After eight years on the island, the English missionary should have known that touching the head of a chief especially a cannibal chief is a huge no-no in Fijian culture. So its no wonder he wound up as lunch that day. Ditto for the eight guys who came with him to Nabutautau, a little hamlet in the remote highlands of Viti Levu, the largest of Fijis 300 islands.

Fast forward to today, and you can see whats left of Baker in a palace-like museum here in Fijis capital. Stroll around the Fiji Museums old-time dugout canoes, rusting rifles, battle clubs, artworks, masks, musical instruments, history charts and the like, and youll come across an odd-looking glass case spotlighting what looks like chewed up pieces of bark. Actually, theyre eight boiled pieces of the soles of Bakers boots.

The significance of the display is that the Baker luncheon was the last recorded incident of cannibalism on the Fiji islands. Before then, the local folks had earned quite a rep for chowing down on just about anyone who looked yummy.

Stories about the stewpots of Fiji finally brought a tsunami of pastors to the islands from the London Missionary Society. The men of the cloth put an end to people-noshing when they converted a super-chief named Cakobau to Christianity, and with him most of Fiji.

BARRANQUILLA, Colombia There was a time when Spanish explorers came here to go charging into the steaming jungles edging the nearby Magdalena River looking for the areas fabled cities of gold. What they found were the spears and arrows of hostile tribes, dysentery, malaria, yellow fever and all kinds of poisonous or man-eating critters. No wonder few of the explorers made it back to Barranquilla.

Youll find out why the explorers came to this spot about half-way down Colombias 600-mile-long Caribbean coast as well as everything else youve always wanted to know about the country at a hi-tech museum in Barranquillas centuries-old historic district.

Called the Museum of the Caribbean, it fills five floors and has five sections: Nature, People, Words, Action and Expression. Guides take visitors on tours of the museum in which you'll see and hear those five subjects come alive in everything from the early indigenous roots of the region to the Spanish conquest to Colombia's fight for independence to its modern-day culture.

You'll notice the museum uses lots of ways to pep up your tour. For instance, you'll watch history unfold on a huge panoramic screen... you'll press buttons and tap icons to make the exhibits almost roll over and bark... you'll step into booths where you'll hear local music such as bullerengue, chalupa and compas.

Play your cards right, and you might be able to get the guides to show you the different booty-shaking moves to these tunes.