Actual Strategies From A Leaked GOP Memo -- We Didn't Make These Up

The Washington Post obtained a private memo from the National Republican Senatorial Committee which details campaign strategies should Donald Trump be chosen as the Republican presidential nominee.

To call them out of touch would be putting it mildly. This is real. Your pet probably does a better human impression.

"Candidates shouldn't go near [Trump's comments on women] other than to say your wife or daughter is offended by what Trump said."

Helder Almeida via Getty Images

Some humans would, but don't think that you need to defend the women in your life!

"Hold sessions where you listen to people and capture audio and video of them discussing their real world problems."

tetmc via Getty Images

Humans have things they want! Listen to what humans want!

"Lose the suit ... Tell your communications and media teams to up the vibe and change the look."

Roy Hsu via Getty Images

Humans often dress in not suits! So try dressing in not a suit!

"Voters are onto you when you do the standard walk and talk through a business, school, or factory."

JLP/Jose Luis Pelaez/Fuse via Getty Images

Humans will trust you more if you don't walk and talk in certain places!

"Try a new look and have business owners, constituents, family members, and workers talk about you."

Michaela Begsteiger via Getty Images

If humans don't want one thing, consider doing something else!

"[Featuring real people] protects you from opposition attacks since real world people are talking about real world things you did for them."

TommL via Getty Images

Humans are human!

"Consider doing some of the jobs the workers do in the machine shops, small businesses, and factories you visit. Have the employee show you what they do and then try to do it."

Jupiterimages via Getty Images

If you can do human jobs, humans will think you're human!

"Feature candidates working on an old engine, and note how sometimes you have to do a complete overhaul to get things working."

Steve Mason via Getty Images

Engines make things go! Fixing an engine will show that you can also make things go!

"Have a constituent or citizen talking about the candidate cleaning up the mess in Washington as the candidate participates in a street cleaning."

Dave & Les Jacobs via Getty Images

Humans like clean things! Show them you'll clean up their things!

"Consider featuring a candidate in a field ripping up a rotten tree stump so the field can be cleared and planting can be done."

Aaron MCcoy via Getty Images

Humans will think you're "down to earth" the closer you are to the actual earth!

"Sell optimism."

Jupiterimages via Getty Images

Be a positive human! Other humans like that!

**We used mostly photos of white dudes because we thought that would be more relatable for Republicans running for office.**

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