Why This Biomom Is Grateful For Her Kids' Stepmom

What have been some of the biggest challenges of co-parenting for you both? 

Laura: We have different parenting styles and different values that have been hard to meld. Neither way is right or wrong, just different. But since the divorce, I've tried to focus on having a more business-like relationship as parents. We're "in the business" of raising the girls and recognizing that really helped when separating was so emotional. Now that they pain of the divorce is gone, we have a business relationship and a friendship as parents and that helps us take great care of the girls as a team. Reminding myself that "it takes a village" grounds me when emotional situations arise. 

Elisha: I'd say one of the hardest things is establishing consistency in our family. Although communication is good between Laura and me, the girls are still in two different homes. They're young now but in order for us all to make it through the teenage years, we'll need to continue having open communication between the three of us so we're all on the same page. 

What makes you proudest of your family and the progress you've made these last five years? 

Elisha: I'm proud of how the girls handle the whole divorce situation. I know that it's not easy on them to go back and forth and have three parents but I feel that they show all of us love and affection. My hope is that when the girls grow up they'll look back on their childhood and think of it as a happy childhood in spite of the divorce.  

Laura: I'm just proud that we have become so flexible with each other and that we can attend events together!

What's your best advice for stepparents and biological parents who are struggling to get along? 

Elisha: I feel like the most important thing is to not force closeness. Things need to go slow for the children but also the parents. There are a lot of people that have feelings involved in the situation. Just know that things usually get easier with time. If you're coming into a ready-made family you need to have realistic expectations especially in regards to how the children will interact with you and accept you.

Laura: Again, it takes a village to raise children and adding another member just helps cover all the bases. Forging a strong relationship with your kids' stepparent (business-like or more friend-like) will ultimately benefit the kids and in the end, that's really the bottom line!