Dear Queen Elizabeth: Can we come back?

Dear Queen Elizabeth ,

Its been 239 years and were finally ready to admit we made a mistake. Just as your predecessor warned us, taxes are much higher, the government more oppressive, and liberty more non-existent than they ever were under the British monarchy.

Were willing to bury the hatchet and rejoin the British Empire with that sweet tax deal you had for us in 1775. Dont worry about representation. We tried it. Taxes skyrocketed.

Everything else we complained about got worse, too. Representative government issues more general warrants than the king's officers ever did. In most cases, it doesnt even bother with warrants. It just vacuums up our electronic data and peruses it at its pleasure.

It calls controlling everything from the food we eat to the amount of water in our toilets regulating trade, when all King George meant by that was levying a few tariffs. Our Federal Register is over 80,000 pages long. Its insane.

In short, we were wrong. Lets just pretend the whole, silly misunderstanding didnt happen. I know its asking a lot, but you seem even nicer than George III was.

We're willing to pay next years taxes at 1775 rates in advance. What say you?

Sincerely,

Your Prodigal Colonists

Tom Mullen is the author of Where Do Conservatives and Liberals Come From? And What Ever Happened to Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness? Part One and A Return to Common Sense: Reawakening Liberty in the Inhabitants of America.