Father's Absence: Mother & Teen Daughter's Perspective

Moms Point of View

From as long as I can remember I dreamed of being a mother. And as luck would have it, I proudly became a mom of not one, not two, but three wonderful human beings, whove filled my life an unending supply of rewards and challenges.

Truthfully, the most important yet difficult title I currently hold is that of being a parent. Its been a gift, an extraordinary gift. And while most gifts are usually given to one person, this perfectly unique gift wait for it- always blesses many.

Although, I have to be excruciatingly honest; in all my childhood fantasies, never once had I pictured myself as a single parent. But life happens and we move forward. Still there are moments, like now, when I dont know how to deal with a situation or who to turn to for advice.

My youngest child, my 14-year-old daughter has been struggling in school, having emotional problems, and acting out. She feels devalued and forcefully disengaged from her fathers life. At first, after the divorce, my ex lavished our child with lots of attention. But now, six years later; hes completely abandoned her, except for paying child support. Notwithstanding, I realize the majority of fathers and mothers out there really are physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and financially there for their children.

Frustratingly, I cant fix the situation, or help mend her broken heart. I dont know what to say, or do, or not do to make this situation better. All I do know, is shes currently learning one of lifes most powerful lessons, that there is no perfect relationship, whether the relationship involves partners, children, parents, siblings, or friends, not one.

More Importantly, Our Daughters Point of View

When my dad left my mom, I was around 8 years old. I remember how sick she was, and as she got sicker and sicker, my dad started caring less and less. I might have been young but I remember some things just like they happened yesterday.

More and more, I rememberI remember the day Dad promised nothing would change after he moved out. He lied. Suddenly he got remarried. And everything changed.

I cant forget how my dad used to scream at my older brothers, usually for no reason. And my mom would defend them, they were her sons. I was his little girl. He said Id always be his only child, his little girl. He lied, adopting two little boys, starting a whole new family.

When I was eleven he stopped giving me Christmas and Birthday presents. He said Im not giving him anything so I dont get anything. I told him I dont have money to buy him anything but I love him. I still do.

Really and truly, I tried to fit into his new life, after all he was still my dad but he stopped caring about me. Blocking my calls, my text messages; he doesnt even visit with me anymore. And he lives pretty close by. I guess, I dont fit in his perfect family.

All of his lies have made me feel super insecure. Its hard to trust people. The truth is my dad left my mom, my brothers, and now me. Im mad. Im angry. I hate what hes done to me, and what he has done to my best friend, my mom. And stillI love him. XOXO Dad.