Finding Good Intentions or Sitting on the Sidelines

Good intentions abound in our world. Unfortunately, in the context of political, social, and emotional references, not everyone has the same definition for what connotes good intentions. Good intentions are based on information, most often developed from research or established from experiential that is to say empirical evidence. What happens, then, when people, specifically government leaders, decide to disregard or worse deny research and empirical evidence of fact because it doesnt suit their narrative or ideological position? Good intentions are washed away with ignorance, blame, and labels, resulting in political, social, and emotional chaos until the next days news cycle creates another context for our good intentions.

Of course, disagreements are ubiquitous. Negative reactions to seemingly non-alarmist circumstances show up daily on the news, and there are swaths of Americans who continue to embrace misguided ideas based on false claims, conspiracy theories, inaccurate speculations, and even immoral behavior. Unfortunately, in our political environment, ugliness can be considered a political strategy. Our democracy doesnt require that the American populace get along all the time, but Ive been sitting on the sidelines for too long hoping for some inclination for good intentions, and Im feeling bad.

The passive response, the easy response, to todays tenuous and fractured political, social and emotional spectacle is to continue to sit on the sidelines and watch what weve come to view as a daily reality show that distorts logic, and in so doing, makes us feel like weve lost our sense of intellectual direction. So why should I get involved in the confluence of ideological conflicts and petty opinions? Why not let the resisters slog through the morass of craziness and leave me alone?

To my surprise, I decided to respond to the Womens March on January 21st, 2017. I didnt think of my participation as a form of resistance, however. I felt it was more like support and tribal celebration with 50,000 women, men and children on a two-mile walk around the city of Austin. I was proud that my son, daughter-in-law, and 2 grandchildren urged me to march with good intentions. I found out later that hundreds of thousands of Texans in a variety of cities also marched with good intentions. I secretly thought it might not be so bad to live in Texas after all. The two-year anniversary of my arrival in Austin got me off the sidelines, and I started anew to feel good about having good intentions.

I am aware that having good intentions is not just about marching one Sunday in January with the community of like-minded people. Having good intentions is not even about staking claim to single cause giving women equal pay or letting women choose how best to serve their health needs. Having good intentions is about recognizing our differences politically, socially, and emotionally and moving to a place where we celebrate these differences instead of resisting them by sitting on the sidelines and playing nice with the boys in the bull pen.

I marched on January 21st for the existential place of women in our society. That existential place has different meanings for every woman or man I have encountered in my life. Now in my 70s, Ive lived a long life already, a life that taught me how to negotiate unequal pay, how to get around the glass ceiling on a university campus, and how to raise my two sons as a single parent fulfilling my responsibility toward my family and profession. We are at our best when we can express enough like-mindedness and similarities so that we can collectively empathize with each others individual journeys both female and male.

The day after the march, I felt let down. All my like-minded new best friends I met on the march went back to work in their cubicles as the tech world in Austin rejoiced. How would I ever keep up my good intentions? How would we all ever put aside differences in our country and have civil discourse? Was it even possible? We know so little of each other in our diverse country, and since most of our citizens dont even have a firm and grounded grasp of how America is governed, how can we all pull together all get along?

The truth is that we all dont have to get along. What we have to agree on is one of Americas greatest singular values: celebrating diversity with civil discourse and respect. Adams and Jefferson had differing ideologies, but because they were gentlemen with good intentions, they didnt play the blame and shame game. They didnt call each other a liar for holding opposite viewpoints. Its human nature to disagree with differences of opinion, but to resist listening to a good idea or solution cannot and should not be part of the political and social process. Resistance is a suckers game. Resistance its the most toxic force on the planet and never resolves issues or creates new ways of thinking.

Americans, dont celebrated sameness of thought or action. Its not the way of a democratic nation. Historically, Americans only ban together in a cohesive framework when were attacked or threatened. However, when things are going well, America can sometimes fall short of its good intentions. We seem to loose our way without a strong narrative for our country. The politicians sit on the sidelines or brawl, or name-call, or entrench themselves in ideology. America in the existential sense becomes moribund and will never resolve its issues.

If I dont cultivate good intentions and instead stay on the sidelines and continue to feel bad, I continue to confirm the darkness that I witness in my country. When I come out of my writers cave, I have the opportunity to change my inner dialogue with good intentions and reach out and share Americans true values.