Gay Florida State Diver Finds His Niche As An Out And Successful Athlete

The Florida State men’s and women’s swimming and diving teams were coming back from a meet and we got stuck on a plane for a few hours. Someone pulled out their speaker and started playing music.

Out of boredom and feeling very comfortable around my teammates, I decided we needed to get up and dance. I requested “YMCA” by the Village People. Next thing I knew a bunch of my teammates, plus the flight attendant, joined me in dancing to the song.

In this moment I realized I was completely comfortable around my teammates and I was more than just a diver to them. I felt I was like family and they accepted all of me, including my offbeat parts.

I have known since sixth grade that I was gay. I never felt comfortable enough to talk to anyone about it until I was in college. I was confused as to why I was attracted to men. Throughout middle school and high school, I would keep this to myself. I created a fake persona so I could blend in with the guys.

My friends and I would be gathered around our high school in British Columbia, and I would get sick of hearing the guys catcalling and talking about the cute girls. I wanted to scream because I wanted to be able to talk openly and freely about my attraction to men. I just wanted to let out the feelings and emotions that were building up.

I found relief in going to dive practice every day after school. I was escaping being with the “guys,” but also I was still hiding my true self. Diving was a way to get my mind off of all the emotions and feelings of not expressing who I really was. It was an escape for a couple of hours during the day, and my mind would rest while I focused on throwing myself off a 33-foot-high platform.

It wasn’t until the last month of high school that I was able to come out of the closet to a few friends. I saw one of my closest female friends be loving and happy with her girlfriend. I wanted to feel this way, comfortable in my own skin. She was an inspiration to me and made me feel confident.

She was openly bisexual, which helped me gain the courage to come to terms with my own sexual orientation. I remember sitting in my car in a parking lot with her, telling her everything.

Her response was not what I was expecting.

“Aidan, I have known you were gay for years.”

This made me laugh but also took me off guard. I thought I covered it up pretty well, but apparently not. Tears were streaming down my face because this was the first time I accepted my true self, allowing myself to really feel like I was loved and accepted no matter what.

Two years later, as I now attend Florida State University, I look back at the exact moment I finally accepted myself. It was Oct. 11, 2016, National Coming Out Day. On that day I came out publicly, sharing on social media with the entire world that I was gay.

Now that I was finally free and open to the public, I felt relieved. A weight was lifted off of me. I received numerous messages that were supporting me and telling how brave I was to come out. This made me feel at ease, but also made me continue to help other closeted gay people. I wanted to let them know that it is OK to come out and not be afraid of their true self.

When I arrived in Florida for my freshman year, I finally realized that there was no point in hiding who I was. This is a new chapter of my life and I feel comfortable telling fellow athletes that I am gay.