Harvard No Longer Accepting Students From "Sh*#hole States"

Harvard University announced a startling shift in its admissions policy, Friday morning, declaring the Ivy League school will no longer accept applications from students in shithole states like Arkansas and Louisiana.

For many years colleges and universities, including Harvard, took pride in enrolling students from all 50 states as well as dozens of nations. But the prevailing support of diversity has shifted.

The decision was reached, not because there is anything inherently or necessarily wrong with academias more traditional attitude of inclusion, Harvard Dean of Admissions Blake Franklin, IV said, but you look at some of these shithole states, predominantly from the Confederate breadbasket, and theyre not sending their best and brightest. Believe me.

The tentative list of those barred from consideration includes most states bordering the Gulf of Mexico.

Everyone knows Mississippi and Alabama are real shitholes, but not as many people appreciate the shithole that is the state of Florida, Franklin said.

Harvards new admissions guidelines do include the so-called South Florida Carveout, allowing for a limited number of applications from students from Miami-Dade, Broward, and Palm Beach Counties.

Harvard will not take applications, to Harvard College or any of its graduate or professional schools, from either non-contiguous shithole Hawaii or Alaska, confirmed university President, Drew Canton, IV. And it goes without saying that the five Territories are out, Canton said. Have you ever been to American Samosa [sic] or Guam? Those are some real shitholes.