I Love My Boyfriend, But I Hate Our Relationship: On Non-monogamy

What does it say about me if my boyfriend wants to sleep with other people? What the fuck is wrong with me that he can’t be with just me?

I’m madly in love with my boyfriend, but I hate our relationship. With every sacrifice I make, I’m starting to hate myself a little more, too. For a little over a year we’ve been in a non-monogamous relationship. Open relationships aren’t new to the gay community but they’re new to me. I’ve always preferred to be with just one guy while in a relationship, but that sort of commitment really puts my boyfriend on edge. We’ve tried being in a traditional relationship and something changed in him; there was something about him that I didn’t like. He wasn’t happy, and was constantly stressing and paranoid about not cheating on me. So I decided to go for an open relationship. I didn’t want us to breakup and I wanted to see where things would go. That was a year ago.