Here's What Actually Happens When You Travel With Your Mother

(Its delightful, though Hollywood would have us believe otherwise.)

With the mother-daughter travel comedy Snatched opening in theaters today, strategically timed for Mothers Day weekend, I had two simultaneous thoughts:

1. Not even Goldie Hawn can save this one
2. Why is traveling with Mom always portrayed as an accident or last minute consolation prize? (Amy Schumers character was dumped right before a trip. Seth Rogen in The Guilt Trip wasnt exactly thrilled about roadtripping with Barbra Streisand.)

And look, I get it. Billions of people have rather complicated relationships with their mother. After all, you cant spell smother without this woman. Combine that with the inherent discomforts of travel, and youve got the recipe for a relatable hit.

But real life tells a different story. Millennials actually like their parents. Were more likely to think of them as friends than as nagging oppressors to rebel against. Were more willing to live together to save money, and more eager to spend that money on shared experiences like travel.

I suspect more women are traveling with their mothers (willingly) than ever before. Theres no denying that female travel in general has skyrocketed . As we gals continue to delay marriage and kids, we have the time and financial independence to do so. We arent sitting around idly waiting for Prince Charming. In fact, weve traded the prince for a passport.

Travel is replacing the romantic comedy, delivering plenty of laughs and accelerated personal growth. Is it any wonder that Amy Schumer followed up Trainwreck with Snatched? Or that so many rom-coms are filmed in exotic locales to drive an otherwise predictable plot?

Now, would I have frolicked through 14 countries with my mom if I were coupled up these last few years? Perhaps not. But I wouldnt trade these trips, and their subsequent memories and inside jokes, for anything. From that time we almost peed our pants on a night bus in Bolivia to the time my mother (aka Clumsy Mumsie) nearly fell off a camel in India. Weve been narrowly avoiding catastrophe across four continents, and it has brought us closer than I ever thought possible.

If you enjoy exploring the world, consider teaming up with the woman who brought you into it. Her health and mobility wont be around forever. You have the rest of your life to travel with people your own age, or on your own. And youll be pleasantly surprised by all the unexpected benefits of traveling with Mom:

1. You can venture outside your comfort zone, comfortably. If theres one person you can discuss diarrhea with, sans fear of judgment or ridicule, its your mother. In case things go wrong, mine schleps an assortment of meds for any ailment. And psychologically, when youre thousands of miles from home, its nice having someone there who reminds you of it. On my trips solo or with friends, a temporary bout of homesickness often strikes. But being around my mom seems to make me homesick-proof.

2. You become equals. Travel is the great equalizer. You are both seeing something new for the first time, both equally far away from the world you know. Trying to maneuver a giant rowboat on Phewa Lake in Nepal, you are not mother/daughter. You are co-captains. Adventurers. Friends. Getting back to shore depends on it.

3. You switch roles like in Freaky Friday, but less freaky. More than just equalizing, the roles of mother and daughter blur in amusing ways when you travel. I find myself starting to mother her, much to her annoyance, by snatching heavy bags out of her hands, and slathering sunscreen on her squirming shoulders as she protests that nothings wrong with a little vitamin D. (Were outside for hours. At 13,000 feet above sea level.) Meanwhile, she tempts me to eat dessert for breakfast and drink more wine at dinner. Travel is disorienting, but it puts you in each others shoes faster than a magic fortune cookie.

4. Your level of trust ventures into TMI territory. Theres an element of What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas on any trip, albeit tamer. You do, wear and eat things you would never try at home. Trapped in a PG-rated version of Sin City with your mom, you find yourself telling her secrets youve kept for years and exchanging dating stories. In a new environment, her reaction is more open-minded than say, in your childhood home, where she may still think of you as her baby. (Im not suggesting you take your mother to the Galpagos solely to break the news about your new tattoo, but it wouldnt be the worst idea Ive ever had.)

5. You get to cheat time. When my mother and I started traveling together, I noticed how much longer and more satisfying those days felt than the sum of our most meaningful interactions back home. At home, both of you are busy and distracted by the demands of your daily lives. The last time you had each others undivided attention, you were probably in her womb. But sitting on a beach in Belize or watching the sunrise on Easter Island, there is nothing but the present moment, no one but each other to share it with. You will never, ever, regret these moments.

On our latest trip to India, we met a Canadian woman traveling solo. She seemed to be having a rough day when we asked her to join us for lunch. (She had just ordered plain white rice and French fries the international symbol for an upset stomach.) When she learned of our frequent trips together, she got teary eyed. I traveled the world with my husband before he died. Now I mostly travel alone, which has its perks. My one regret is not having traveled with my mother before she got too sick to move. You two are doing it right.

To my best friend and travel soulmate: Mumsie, Happy Mothers Day! Oh, and pack your bags, because were going to Spain.