Honoring Gentle Men for Empowering Women

Challenges Bodysurfing is not for the faint of heart. Big surf, currents, riptides, cold water, rocks, seaweed, stingrays, and the occasional shark offer their challenges. Consequently, I took my time working my way back into this sport. Along with bodysurfing and boogie boarding, in my glory days, I was a competitive surfer and skateboarder, played for Team USA in volleyball, and handled the physical challenges in my military career with ease. But a variety of health setbacks over several years left me floundering in any sport. Besides, the TV commercials for flu shots are now calling me the elderly.

Getting in Shape Fortunately, I found a local bodysurfing club whose predominantly male members were gracious enough to encourage me no matter what I did or didnt do, or how foolish I looked in my attempts. They were all experts, yet they patiently supported any effort I made. Over many months, I slowly improved. My knee stopped locking up, so I could kick hard again. Pumping iron at the gym improved my strength, and the treadmill and pool laps increased my stamina. Over time, with the inspiration of my new friends, I was catching waves again. What an exhilarating feeling!

Trouble One particularly resplendent morning, the crushing closeout waves (waves that fold over and dont allow a ride in either direction) were larger than usual. It would be a workout just to get beyond where they were cresting. I waited for a break in the sets, but as soon as I started swimming out, another overhead set rolled in. I had to dive under the white water again and again to make my way beyond the breakers. Unfortunately, the pressure on my lungs of repeatedly holding my breath triggered some mild asthma. If I had to go under water again, I knew I wouldnt be able to hold my breath as long as I needed to.

Assistance Realizing my predicament, I swam hard to get out past the waves so I wouldnt have to submerge again. When I arrived in the deeper water, the entire club greeted me with a cheer, appreciating the level of difficulty of this undertaking. The clubs leader was close by, so I explained to him that I was having trouble breathing and needed to get to shore. Immediately, he declared that he would escort me in. I wasnt convinced I needed his help, but my mind quickly went to better safe than sorry. These waves could toss bodies over the falls like ragdolls and hold their victims down interminably. If that happened, I knew Id come up breathing salt water.

Gentle Men We made it to shore without too much trouble, and the leader asked the lifeguards to check me out. I was OK -- just needed to get my inhaler and go home to rest. Although I was shaken, all I could think about on the way home was how nice it felt to have a virtual stranger look out for me like that. It reminded me of how my older brother and his friends had always ensured my safety when I was a young girl. Then I recalled how other gentle men like these club members had been there for me time after time over the years, facilitating the many successes Ive had throughout my life. The encouragement of nearly all of of the men I served with over decades as a career military officer was exemplary as well.

Lessons Learned This incident got my attention on multiple levels. It was a compelling reminder to complete my medical power of attorney, since you never know when it might be needed. Most of all, it made me realize how many gentle men, like coaches, teachers, supervisors, and friends had lifted me up through all too many trials. I began to wonder if Id acknowledged them enough for what they had given to me. Its not that the women of this bodysurfing group, or women in general, are any less remarkable, but thats a blog post for another day.

Gratitude Todays vitriol, often between the sexes, seems to have overshadowed the contributions of too many outstanding men. I want to give credit to those men who not only do not debase women (or put them on pedestals), but who facilitate their development and act as true team members in the most effective ways. I would like to offer a heartfelt Thank you! to all of the gentle men in my life, past and present, who know what it means to honor, support, and encourage women in ways that bring out the best in all of us.