Want to Be a Rock Star? Start By Lighting People Up

I'm adding "Rock Star" to my resume, which already includes a few job titles like writer, health/soul coach, mom, and traveler. Yet, I have no intention of stepping on stage. No, I'm not having a mid-life crisis, I promise. Let me explain.

So you know when you're at a party and someone walks into the room and sees you, but rather than give you that fake smile and quickly turn away to find someone else more interesting to talk to, they walk straight toward you as if you were the exact person they were looking for? Yeah, me neither.

But imagine being that person on the receiving end of that kind of attention. What an amazing feeling that must be! To be the kind of person people can't wait to be around would make you feel like a rock star. Or least that's what I imagine what a rock star feels like and who hasn't dreamed of being a rock star at some point in their life? And I'm not talking the "served one too many vodka tonics at a concert, head banging, air guitar playing, and channeling Pink" kind of rock star. While that might be a hell of a lot of fun, too, it makes for easy blackmail material and a nasty hangover.

The kind of rock star I'm I talking is the one that gives others the spotlight.

I realized this after I spoke to a couple of friends on the phone the other day. I received texts from both of them after our conversations thanking me for listening to them and offering help. Then it hit me. I should have been thanking them since I felt lighter and happier after both conversations.

This isn't a new concept, I know. Friends help each other on a daily basis but what I'm talking about is being intentional about it. By reaching out to a friend, or even a stranger, and asking how they are, as simple as this is, can be what lights them up forn the rest of the day. By giving them the stage and 100% of our attention, how could someone NOT feel like a rock star after that?

Unfortunately, many of us are consumed with the craziness of our daily lives, running from one thing to the next with maybe a quick text or Facebook like as a way to "check in" with our friends. And how crummy does it feel when the one phone call we do get has a motive behind it, like a chance at your season tickets, or an introduction the person they REALLY want to talk to, or to borrow a crockpot.

But one thing I've learned over the years is this:

If you want something in life, you have to ask for it.

If we want people to treat us with adoration, respect, love, or whatever the desired feeling, then we must first give that to them. For example, if I want my husband to show me more affection like holding my hand, then I should hold his hand first.

We've all heard "it is more blessed to give than to receive" and I felt that after helping my friends that day. So that's why I'm making it a permanent addition to my life.

I've learned that by helping other people feel awesome, I will feel awesome. And I know some days I'm not going to feel like it because maybe I almost lopped off my finger preparing dinner, or I forgot to pay an important bill, or one of my kids spilled a brand new carton of seven dollar Greek yogurt all over the kitchen rug.

But maybe the person I light up is having an even crummier day, like maybe they just found out they have a terminal disease, or that their marriage is over, or they have miscarried for the fourth time. It makes getting upset over spilled Greek yogurt sound pretty lame.

Lighting people up is about helping others come alive and ready to take on the world....or should I say stage? We can all feel like rock stars when we do this which I think sounds like a pretty good gig, air guitars optional.

• Has someone ever made you feel like a rock star?
• What has someone said or done that lit you up on the inside?

How are YOU going to light someone up today?