How To Slow Your Feminist Roll In 7 Female-Friendly Steps

Step 1: Settle in with a La Croix (apricot) to watch the Democrats celebrate Hillary Clinton, the first female to earn a major party’s nomination for President of the United States. What a night for women! And America!

Step 2: High-five yourself as one of the evening’s first speakers, Sarah Silverman, uses her air time to encourage party unity–though she once stood staunchly with a different candidate. Because that makes a lot of sense if you’re of the persuasion that Donald Trump should not become president. She makes a great case, Bernie-or-Busters!

Step 3: Crawl up in the fetal position, awash with tears of joy, as you listen to the First Lady of the United States, Michelle Obama , remind us that our country is great– and that her daughters play on the lawn of a house that was built by slaves. The White House. Tip-toe upstairs and kiss your own two sleeping daughters, because they are growing up in a world where it’s totally normal that a woman might be the next President of the United States. Holy shit. This is all real. And how amazing would it be if an Obama 2024 campaign came next?

Step 4: Take a quick break to let your eyeballs explode during the brand new trailer for Wonder Woman, a female-driven and female-directed superhero movie that stole the spotlight at Comic-Con and is making all fans, male and female alike, freak out. Which reminds you, Brie Larsen is going to be Captain Marvel  in the Marvel Universe’s first female stand-alone movie! Also, GHOSTBUSTERS! 2016 is a beautiful time to be a woman!

Step 5: While maybe not as emotional, watch the keynote address from one Elizabeth Warren , a “janitor’s daughter who became a public school teacher, a professor, and a United States senator.” F*ck this La Croix, move on to France’s second-best export, champagne.

Step 6: Watch it all unravel as CNN’s Jake Tapper likens Sarah Silverman’s post-Sanders speech comments to “thinking about a man with whom she had fallen in love,” because if a woman has strong feelings about another human who happens to be a man, obviously they’re rooted in emotions and romantic feelings, not policy or common ideals. Yes, earlier Silverman mentioned being swept off her feet by the Vermont senator. But at no time did she bat her eyelashes and flip her girl-hair the way Tapper did when he did an impression (? ) of her, complete with actual cooing: “He was soooo pure.” (She said Sanders “was not for sale.” Same thing?)

Step 7: Look forward to reading what the New York Times has to say about the night! And the First Lady! Wait– it’s an article about her dress  and lets us all know the real hero of the night was the man who sewed its cobalt blueness into being.

Roll officially slowed, girls.

This post originally appeared on secondcity.com .

Written by Liz Kozak (@LizKoz ), who was once mistaken for Sarah Silverman at a party and is editor-in-chief of The Second City Network .