If You Truly Want To Date With Intention, You Have To Do This One Thing

Weve all heard that little changes can make a big difference.

We all want the quick fix. We want the 5 tips to get him to fall for you or Secret lipstick colors to make him fall head over heels.

The truth is that the only thing that really makes a difference isnt nearly as sexy.

Those little changes are most powerful in the way you think about and view yourself.

Picture it being like a house.

You can look at a beautiful house, with its fresh paint, gorgeous new shutters, large wrap around porch and flower pots. It looks so comfortable.

But if that house has rotting wood underneath and a crumbling foundation, then it doesnt matter how good the house looks you definitely dont want to buy that house!

Its the same with you how you look, how you dress, and the way you move are all the outside of the house.

And while that might attract men initially, what they really want is the confident woman underneath, the one with the solid foundation who knows her worth and is a joy to be around. What they really want is the gorgeous you thats inside!

Why is it that so many of us think were not worthy of love?

It starts out the same way you say something you wish you hadnt, you long for the chance to do things differently, you feel like you missed an amazing person and an amazing chance. Then we do the damage to ourselves we beat ourselves up over and over again.

Were devastated that we didnt handle the situation better, that we didnt listen to what we knew. Then those voices in our head start up, Why cant I ever get this right? Hell never really want to be with me if he saw the real me. Hes so much better than me, I need to do better to make him love me.

Heres the truth and I want you to hear me on this beautiful:

Theres nothing wrong with you, theres only the wrong person for you!

You may have a deeply ingrained story about your life and loves that youve been re-telling yourself so long that its simply a part of your belief system. I created a free video series to help you end dating frustration forever here.

Mine went something like this:

I shouldve married my boyfriend from college. He was perfect. He loved me, he was handsome, and the passion was great. Everyone wouldve thought we were the perfect couple. We wouldve had 2.5 kids, a golden retriever with a white picket fence, and been the envy of the neighborhood. Ill never feel that kind of love and passion again. I miss that. I f-cked up.

You can imagine this story didnt serve me to find new love and someone to settle down with.

It kept me stuck in the past, shaming myself and filled with regret. It kept me pining over someone who had moved on. It kept him on a pedestal rather than realizing that we had our problems in the relationship. It kept me from being willing to feel that kind of love again. And possibly worst of all, it kept me comparing every new guy to a shadow that was impossible to live up to.

These stories can also keep us attracting men that arent capable of giving us what were looking for. Its what keeps us thinking things like Hes out of my league and Im not good enough for a guy like him.

So when were out and about we dont even notice the ones who would never treat us the way were allowing ourselves to be treated. We dont even give him the opportunity to see us, because were operating at that level of belief that were only worthy of so much.

Its a lie. Its simply a story youve been telling yourself for far too long.

It doesnt ever get you what you really want in the long run to be loved for who you really are. And yet were going about it in all the wrong ways because were trying to get our love from someone who cant give us what we want and need, and we pretzel ourselves, act like the cool girl, and contort into someone we think we should be, rather than taking a real chance on the man whos actually ready.

When it doesnt work out with the guy who wasnt ready, its not a failure, but simply two different people on two different pages.

Love isnt for a select few.

Its not for the thin. The rich. The lucky.

Its for everyone. For you especially you.

So whats the big secret to dating with purpose?

Self-worth.

And thats an inside job.

Here are a few ways to improve your self-worth:

At the end of each day reflect on your day and remember at least one moment you feel good about or proud of. Ask yourself, What did I make some progress on today? What situation did I handle that I feel proud of?

Next time you beat yourself up for something you wish you couldve done, or shouldve done take a pause. Breathe. Imagine your best friend talking to you about this situation. What would she say to you? Start speaking that way to yourself.

Envision the kind of life you really want and set some goals for yourself. Do something to move towards your goals, every single day, no matter how small it might be. Progress equals happiness.

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