Stop Saying, 'I Can't Do Anything Because I Have Kids' -- In Front Of Your Kids

The struggle is real. Having kids and also wanting that adult time without them. Every parent struggles with it, whether youre a single parent or part of a parenting couple.

But do we really have to rub it in so much all the time? Especially when our kids are standing right there?

The choice to raise children is an enormous one. Everyone gets that. It takes time, effort, blood, sweat, and tears. It takes almost everything out of you emotionally, mentally, and physically. But complaining in front of your children about how you have no time for nights out or a date night with your spouse because of them can be hurtful to a child in ways we dont realize.

In a childs mind, they only want your attention and love. When kids are young especially, they dont have a concept of how hard your day was or how much you feel like you need a drink with friends or your spouse. They dont understand that mommy or daddy require adult time sans kids. Why would they? As far as theyre concerned, they are the proverbial apple of your eye.

So many of us wonderful, giving parents put so much into our children. Most of us give and give and give until were depleted. We take them out to fun places, we play with them, we read to them, we buy them things, we have birthday parties, and everything in our lives is usually centered around the kids.

Its no wonder our children would have no concept of us needing time away from them. It must be quite a strange feeling for a child when they hear a parent blurt out something to their friends such as, I cant do that on Saturday I have the kids, or, I dont have time for that I have kids! Theyre probably wondering what theyre keeping us from.

Im a big believer in living life without the guilt trip party. Guilt tripping is not a place I like to take anyone especially our kids. Have I ever said something like the above statements? Yes! Have I ever said it in front of the kids? I have tried extremely hard not to and Im still working on it.

Whats the point of raising a family if youre going to spend a good chunk of the time complaining about them? And yes I know commiserating over having no free time with other parents can indeed be deliciously satisfying. Im just saying lets take it down a notch or two, especially when small ears are around us.

A child doesnt mean to intrude upon our lives. They are here to explore and grow. And were supposed to be the ones watering their fragile buds with support, love, and hopefully as little guilt tripping as possible. Heaven knows, theyre going to get enough of that from the rest of the world when they do grow up.

So lets take a break from resenting parenthood in front of our children and perhaps wait to do it privately where small ears dont have to carry that burden.

More from Michelle: 6 Life Lessons Ive Learned Being a Stepmom

Join Michelle at The Pondering Nook & also at The Broads Way Podcast discussing life, love, marriage, divorce, parenting, step-Parenting & much more!