Mentoring: More Than Growth Plans and Gold Stars

January marks the start of the new year, which for many means a chance to revitalize their personal and professional lives. Coincidentally, January also marks the celebration of arguably one of the most important acts of a leader: National Mentoring Month.

When done purposefully, mentoring is a profoundly valuable way for leaders to invest in the success of others, as well as themselves, their brands and their bottom lines.

A recent Ernst & Young LLP study conducted in partnership with MENTOR: The National Mentoring Partnership evaluated 18 organizations with mentoring practices in the work place. What the research found is no surprise. Companies that engage in mentoring enjoy higher retention of well performing employees, a healthy pipeline of qualified candidates, and more engaged employees who are invested in their work.

I have had great mentors in my career, which allowed me opportunities and advancement that probably wouldnt have happened without that counsel. Particularly fulfilling now is the opportunity to pay this direction forward in my current role. It sharpens my own leadership skills when I am called upon to not only manage, but to guide.

If asked, most executives could likely offer examples of great mentoring they have received or witnessed, as well as the unfortunate so-so variety. From my own experiences, I have identified three basic tenets that lay a strong foundation for meaningful mentoring.

These arent your fathers mentorships.

The vast majority of my employees are millennials between the ages of 27 and 31, and in working with professionals in this demographic Ive learned the value they place on personal connection. In my observation, millennials thrive in work environments that recognize and celebrate their individuality, while validating their need for a personal life.

It has greatly benefited the performance of my team when I have made the effort to be present in their real lives. This might mean joining the group for happy hour after work, or being available to respond to text messages on weekends, or supporting an employee competing in a triathlon. In generations past, there was a firm line between employers and their employees and there still should be but that present-day line is more fluid and adaptable to accommodate the individual.

When you invest in the whole person, it creates a genuine connection that will foster more enthusiasm and open reception of your feedback and guidance. Mentees need to be coachable, yes, but they also need to know that youre not just blowing smoke to get more and better work out of them.

Give and you shall receive.

Meaningful mentoring can encourage better performance from employees and mentees genuinely investing in the success of others can lead to their own investment in their performance. In many instances, this relationship also results in longer retention of team members who feel valued, which is of further benefit to you and the organization. On the occasions that a mentee of mine has later left the company, it has always been on positive terms. I firmly believe this is due to the genuine personal interest they received during our time together, and feel a sense of pride when they move on to realize bigger dreams.

Additionally, great leaders know how to evolve and stay relevant. In my experience, my mentees have often been a source of enthusiasm and a fresh outlook. Engaging with those who are at a different point in their professional cycle and gaining insights from their perspectives is an invaluable way to maintain your own relevance.

To this end, some of the best advice applies to all parties in the mentorship equation: dont be afraid to be the mentee. We are all meant to continue growing and are best equipped to do this when we are honest with ourselves about our strengths and how to leverage them. Surrounding ourselves with those who possess different strengths and remaining open to their ideas, regardless of how far up (or down) the corporate ladder we sit, is the true mark of a leader.

Like in romance, dont force the relationship.

Some organizations implement formal mentoring programs. I dont feel there is anything inherently wrong with this system fostering an encouraging supportive environment in which junior employees are provided resources for growth is a great strategy for training and retaining great talent.

That said, I have always preferred when mentor-mentee relationships happen organically it allows for authentic interest between a leader and an apprentice. This dynamic also leaves more space for young professionals to seek mentorship outside of their current organization, which can broaden ones understanding of their craft and/or industry.

From the mentors perspective, its nearly impossible to mentally invest in a relationship with an individual with whom you dont feel a real rapport. Your inbox is maxed. Your desk is overflowing. And your coffee cup is likely still half full of java that went cold due to any number of interruptions between 8 and 9 a.m. You have a great deal to give when it comes to investing in others, but if you cant be fully present for that person, youll be of no help to either party.

True mentorship involves so much more than hand holding and gold stars. Sometimes feedback is tough to hear and even tougher to give. Having an authentic connection is critical in these situations, as it enables you to better assess the right timing and atmosphere for such things. When the right connection is nurtured in the right way, mentoring can be infinitely rewarding (beyond the one month a year when its formally recognized).

Annie Appel is an executive vice president at The Bay Club Company , an active lifestyle and hospitality company with a network of modern country clubs across California.