"Oh, Nasty Woman"

Weird Al Yankovich was looking for a breakthrough. It had been two years since one of his song parodies had made the Billboard Hot 100 (Word Crimes peaked at 39 in 2014), and he was practically desperate for a new idea. For two straight years he was unable to produce anything, leaving the parodist wondering if his song writing days were done. And then the third presidential debate happened. Just seconds after hearing Donald Trump utter those now infamous words about his opponent, "Such a nasty woman," Weird Al was furiously writing song titles.

The options were seemingly endless. Before the media pundits had even had the chance to declare Hillary the clear debate winner, his single-spaced, dual-column list of song titles filled nearly three pages. Indeed, the titles were easy; writing a full song, however, was not. Far from it.

After nearly an entire night of insufferable writer's block, resulting from too many good choices, Weird Al knew he had to start somewhere. Initially, he settled on "Just Like A Nasty Woman," which seemed like a fitting tribute to the latest Nobel laureate :

She volunteers just like a nasty woman / She campaigns just like a nasty woman / She phone banks just like a nasty woman / But she votes just like a nasty little girl

But in his heart, Weird Al knew the Dylan tune just didn't work. He couldn't get past the chorus. And even that didn't make sense: "How would a nasty little girl vote? And would she even be old enough to do so legally?" he wondered.

Next he tried to make "When A Man Loves A Nasty Woman" work, but that was a non-starter, as was "You Make Me Feel Like A Nasty Woman" and "Nasty Girls Don't Cry." He spent some major time on "I Am Nasty Hear Me Roar," but Helen Reddys feminist anthem hit too close to home to be a funny parody.

"Nasty Ladies Night" showed some promise, but it ended up in a wastebasket now overflowing with crumpled paper, along with "Nasty Girls Just Want To Have Fun" and "I'm Every Nasty Woman."

Nothing was working, and Weird Al was starting to doubt his abilities. Thinking back to his first hit, My Bologna (a parody of The Knacks My Sharona), which was recorded in a college bathroom, his storied musical career began to flash before his eyes.

But suddenly, he had one of those classic "light-bulb" moments. Out of nowhere a movie scene popped into his mind, the iconic image of Richard Gere pulling up in a white stretch limo, blaring opera music, while standing up in the sunroof holding a bouquet of roses. That was all it took. The words to "Oh, Nasty Woman" began pouring out:

Nasty woman, watchin CNN / Flat-chested woman, can never be a ten / Nasty woman, can't you see / No one respects you as much as me, mercy

Nasty woman, won't you vote for me / Nasty woman, I rate you a three / Nasty woman, you're not for me / But please don't vote for Hillary

Nasty woman, make me smile / Nasty woman, Seig heil / Nasty woman, just be fair / Nasty woman, love my hair / I will never treat you right / But I need your vote tonight

Nasty woman, don't walk on by / Nasty woman, don't make me cry / Nasty woman, so uncouth / Nasty woman, in the voting booth / Wait a minute, what do I see? / Will she vote for her or me? / Yeah, she's going to vote for me / Oh, no! It's HRC / Oh, oh, Nasty woman.

When he penned those final words, Weird Al knew he'd done it once again.