Peggy Grande: At Reagan's Side

When I met Peggy Grande a few years back, it took us awhile to figure out that we had actually first met years earlier when I had written President Reagans office asking if I could come by for a visit. Nearly two decades later, we put two and two together and realized it was Peggy who had ushered me into the Presidents office and taken our picture together. In her new book, The President Will See You Now , which hits bookstores today, Peggy goes into great detail about her years working with the President after he left the Presidency. The book is a warm, engaging and exceedingly personal memoir. Here are excerpts from our recent visit:

Q: What made you decide to write this book and was it a coincidence that you decided to publish this after Mrs. Reagan's passing?

A: I was approached by Hachette Book Group and asked to write this book at the end of 2015, just a few months before Mrs. Reagan passed away , so the timing was completely coincidental. I had never considered writing a book before, but was convinced that this was what I needed to do and this was the time to do it. Through the most unbelievable set of circumstances, God made it clear that I was supposed to do this and reinforced it through amazing moments of affirmation every step along the way. I actually couldn't have said "no," it was that obvious I was supposed to say "yes".

Q: This is a very personal book. What were your emotions as you wrote it?

A: Although you can never forget a remarkable decade of life like mine with Ronald Reagan, the days come and go and life very much goes on, especially with a house full of small children, so I hadn't had the luxury of re-visiting those years in great detail until I started to write this book. As I began writing I initially felt the exhilaration once again of those early days - the excitement of seeing and interacting with the president, the star-studded events with celebrities and world leaders, the glamorous travel and a pace of excitement and importance and prominence. As I moved into the middle part of the book it was much more reflective - looking at relationships between the President and Mrs. Reagan, his relationship with my kids, his interactions with the world and the blessing I felt of being in close proximity to him every day. As I approached the end of the book my emotion was one of dread. I knew I had to immerse myself in the emotions and the pain of those last years and walk through them once again. It was gut-wrenching and painful and many tears were shed on my keyboard as I typed. As I neared the end of the book I was anxious about not knowing exactly how the book would end. I knew that I didn't want it to conclude with "he died, we cried, the end. That would not be very Reaganesque! But I surrendered to the writing process and just pressed on until half way through the last chapter I saw very clearly in my mind how it should end. And without giving it away, I hope that I accomplished my goal of walking the reader through their own good-bye to Ronald Reagan as I said mine, and hope that I ended it in a way that gave hope for the future and optimism that even in the midst of grief that America's best days could still be yet ahead.

Q: You held his goodbye letter in your hands and were asked to read it to the rest of his staff. How did you feel at that moment?

A: While it was personally devastating and filled my mind with so many questions and worries and fears, I knew that this letter was bigger than him, and much larger than even my own overwhelming emotions. I dreaded sharing this letter with the world. I didn't want to be a bearer of bad news to people worldwide who loved him and who would be heartbroken at this tragic diagnosis. I knew there would be an outpouring of love and affection toward him, but never could have anticipated how much! Upon the letter's release the world began sharing their fond farewells, their heartbreaking tributes and last words of admiration. Yet as the world was saying "good-bye" to him, I was still saying "good morning" to him every day for the next 5 years. It was a challenging time to continue enjoying his presence and treasuring every day and every interaction, while knowing those days were fleeting.

Q: The reader senses your feelings of struggle and maybe ambivalence about being a working Mom of four. Would you have done what you did for anybody else?

A: It's hard to answer that because even though I never thought I would be a working mom, I couldn't have imagined leaving him in those later years. I always felt as if I was supposed to be there - that God had chosen to put me outside this remarkable man's door and that part of my calling in life was to serve him. And do so while also being a wife and a mother. While it wasn't always easy to juggle the professional demands of the office and the president with the personal demands of a young family, it always worked out because it was where I was supposed to be. It's hard to articulate, but when it's meant to be, it all becomes possible. It may not always be pretty, or easy, but it's possible.

Q: Do you have any regrets about your time with President Reagan? Anything you wish you'd done differently?

A: It's a wonderful feeling to look back with truly no regrets. I gave the best of myself and all of myself to the Reagans the years that I worked for them. I wasn't always perfect and didn't always do everything precisely right, but my intention was always to serve him with excellence and efficiency and to be his face and voice to the world in a way that would hold up his reputation and honor his life and perpetuate his legacy with respect and reverence. My loyalty was exclusively and fervently with him and my goal every day was to ensure that he had everything he needed in order for things to run smoothly, safely and accomplish his goals. I poured myself into my career fully and truly have no regrets looking back. The only true regret is that this distinguished man who led a remarkable life and left a powerful and positive legacy was not able to fully appreciate it at the end of his life and know of the lasting impact he left on our nation and the world.

Q: What do people misunderstand about him?

A: With most public figures there is a public persona and a private persona. I hope in this book that people will see Ronald Reagan as I saw him behind the scenes - and realize that he was the exact same person when the cameras were rolling as he was when they weren't. He lived a life of respect and kindness and graciousness and gentlemanly manners and thoughtfulness all the time, regardless of whether or not he thought someone was watching. Those who criticized him as being extremely complex and harboring deep secrets missed the beauty of his simplicity. He loved God, his country and his wife and lived his entire life in service to those three things. Through and through he was exactly the same. Pure and true Ronald Reagan.

Q: Of course I didn't know you at the time, but when you brought me in to meet him and took our picture, I remember distinctly the way in which you introduced me to him-it was as though I was the President of a country-was that part of what you did to give him a sense of purpose or mission with each visitor?

A: Ronald Reagan had great respect for everyone - regardless of title or stature in society. He valued and appreciated people from all walks of life, so it was important to him that everyone feel his respect. I'm glad that's the way you felt when you visited, because that was the goal - to give everyone who met him that memorable moment - that chance to be in his presence, have him look you in the eye, shake your hand and connect with you. Truly connect. Whether it was for just a few minutes or more of an extended visit, we wanted everyone to leave his office feeling like they were the most important person in the world to him for that period of time. That was intentional, because that was the way he lived his life - connecting with people and making them feel seen and valued. Even in a more formal, professional office environment we always wanted to create the space for that moment to happen. It was important to him, so it was important to those of us who worked for him as well.

Q: What was Nancy's role in his life and how important was she to his success?

A: I believe that Ronald Reagan wouldn't have become all he was, or achieved all he did with out Nancy Reagan at his side. She was willing to play the "bad guy" if needed so that he could always be the "good guy. While he took everyone at their word and always believed that people's intentions were pure and noble, Mrs. Reagan had a sixth sense, an intuitive perception about people that was often helpful to the president in realizing that maybe someone didn't have his best interests at heart. Mrs. Reagan valued loyalty and truth. If you were loyal to her and to her husband and always told her the truth then you would never have a problem with Mrs. Reagan. If you weren't loyal and truthful, she would know it, and you likely wouldn't work for the Reagans very long. In the president's later years Mrs. Reagan stepped out from behind his shadow, where she always had preferred to be, and stepped into the spotlight to be the voice of her husband and continued to champion his life's work and his legacy. I don't think this is something she would ever have sought out, but she was willing to do it for the sake of her beloved "Ronnie".

Q: What do you think you meant to him?

A: I'd like to think that I was a friendly and familiar presence in his life that approached everything with the same sunny optimism he did. I was steady, predictable, calm and unflappable. Nothing threw me off my game and nothing made me lose my cool. He knew he could trust me and rely on me to represent him with consistency, professionalism and the graciousness and warmth that he would treat everyone personally if he could interact with them himself. I always felt his confidence and approval in my work and his appreciation for my efforts. He was very good about thanking me and showing his appreciation, even when things didn't go as planned or circumstances were beyond my control that were less than ideal. Especially since I was so young, I always appreciated the confidence he placed in me and I did everything I could to live up to his expectations.

Q: Your recounting your last visit with him is gut-wrenching. Was it hard to re-live it?

A: It was extremely difficult to put myself back into that moment and to relive those emotions. Yet I felt it was important because for those who admired Ronald Reagan, at some point they all said their own goodbye to that man in their own way and in their own hearts and minds. I put myself in the shoes of those who had respected and appreciated this man and all that he had meant to them and realized that my good-bye to him in a way was symbolic of what others would have loved to have been able to say to him and how they would have loved to have show their respect and appreciation to them if they had had the chance to. So I felt it was important to share that moment and to represent America and the world's gratitude for all he had done and all he had meant to us through my own very personal and heartbreaking good-bye at his bedside.

Q: What do you hope readers take away from the book?

A: This is a very different type of book about Ronald Reagan. Rather than being about the politics or policies of his presidency, it is about the personal side and the character of the man. I had an opportunity to observe the president's interactions with everyone from world leaders, to Mrs. Reagan, from my own children to patriotic Americans. I saw him salute heroes of our military and watched as others honored him with emotional responses of gratitude. In this book you will see him as I saw him and get to walk into his office with me, travel alongside the president and have a front row seat to relive all that I saw and observed during that decade I served him, and on into his final twilight years. Through my lens you will feel the exhilaration of meeting him for the first time, witness the outpouring of affection for him from people all around the world, enjoy star-studded events with world leaders, savor both humorous moments and quiet moments of reflection and observation. You will be in the room when the heartbreaking news about the president's Alzheimer's disease was first shared and be part of sharing that sad news with the nation. You will get to visit the president and Mrs. Reagan at their home during their private years out of the public eye and will share in the heartbreaking moment at the president's bedside when I had to say my goodbye to him. In my experiences I hope that you will find your own. The resolve to step into a space that is challenging and stretches you, the confidence to find your footing in a role that once seemed impossible that suddenly seems perfectly suited for you, the convergence of personal and professional life that stretches you physically, emotionally and spiritually. You'll discover that even pain and heartache can produce growth and greater competence in your abilities and confidence in yourself as being stronger than you ever imagined. And you will realize that life is a beautiful circle and that it can end as it began - hopeful, optimistic, full of faith and love for others and for our great nation, even when it's not the fairytale ending that we all want. Those are some of the lessons of my years with Ronald Reagan and, in part, is what you will find in the book. I hope your readers will pick up a copy and enjoy the book and then tell me their stories. They can find me on Twitter and Instagram or on my Facebook author page