Reasons The Groundhog Didn't Run Scared Back Into His Hole

It's Groundhog Day, and today Punxsutawney Phil came out of his hole and saw no shadow. That means an early spring. But I feel like after so many years of this, Phil would get pretty used to his shadow. So what is the real reason he didn't run back into his hole?

Because he's all swole now. He ain't afraid of no shadow.

Andrew Burton via Getty Images

Because felt a duty to vote against Trump yesterday.

JIM WATSON via Getty Images

Because he's attending the Oscars, so the event won't look quite so pasty.

Jeffrey Mayer via Getty Images

Because climate change destroyed his home. But... GOD, THIS WEATHER IS GORGEOUS, HUH?

VICTOR DE SCHWANBERG/SCIENCE PHOTO LIBRARY via Getty Images

Because he's acting as Peyton Manning's service groundhog in the Super Bowl.

Tim Mosenfelder via Getty Images

Because he's returning to the titular role in this live reading of "Groundhog Day."

Chelsea Lauren via Getty Images

Because starting today, he refuses to be limited to your primitive concepts of "ground." You can call him... skyhog.

Thomas Trutschel via Getty Images

Because his fans need this.

Boston Globe via Getty Images

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