She Never Drove

How one woman changed the world without a drivers license

Wanda Williams would have been 101 this month. My mothers mother. A woman with near cult like status in our family, and those who know us much at all.

Twice in the last two days Ive heard the word rebar. Its not something I ever think much of for any reason. First, my husband referenced it in how the Holy Spirit shores us up. And then in a random Facebook video about a pool being built, I watched as the workers laid rebar at the bed of a soon-to-be gorgeous and elaborate pool.

When the homeowners were enjoying a cool dip in their beautifully laid pool, stone walkways and flowing fountains, Im sure they thought little of the sturdy and unseen bars that made it all so steady and secure.

Grandma Wanda left this earth eight years ago. I dont think she ever had a drivers license and after the war, she didnt have a career. To my knowledge, she didnt win any awards. And, she had no followers. Not a single like.

I dont know fully how the economy of heaven works. But, I can imagine that while she wasnt known far and wide on this earth, she is at the top echelon of the heavenlies.

In my family we think often of her. Its hard not to. She had that way about her. A sort of way that left an impression that was more than a fleeting shadow, but more like a tattoo on your heart. A love so clear, honest and enduring that you never forgot it. It followed you, infused in us like DNA.

Its a funny thing considering I didnt talk to her every day or ever live in the same city as her. But, like that pool and the rebar, I know the choices her and my grandfather made laid the foundation for the pool of life I now enjoy.

She was not, by todays standards for women, a mover or shaker or changer of the world. But, she raised with honor and pride three children who had a total of eight children whose children now number 16. Each of these children making their mark for the kingdom in their own way, carrying that DNA of her heart that had nothing to do with biology.

Her life was not glamorous. She raised children in a small town in Arkansas - Hartford. And, she impacted the kingdom in ways she never lived to see.

Ive thought a lot in the last few months about what it means to be the change you want to see in the world. I went from a career in which I wrote and was published in front of an audience for about a decade to a life that seems much more behind the scenes in many ways.

There are times I stop and ask if I should be doing more. Something bigger. Something more. Something MORE. Its a questions Ive asked about 6,980,000 times since entering motherhood. And I surely tell you most of my momma friends ask the same.

We each so much want to make an impact and it intensifies when you see the world our children will inherit. Heres the secret. Heres what Grandma Wanda knew. Being the change you want to see in the world may outlive this body.

Real change comes at the hands, hearts and mouths of those who know change must come now, but who are brave enough to endure, to fight, to keep on when nothing seems to change at all.

Going often seems the big thing. Bold, brave choices that throw us out into the wild world surely must have the greatest impact. Loud voices surely carry the farthest. And, yet, some of us are called to stay, to wait and to whisper or maybe be quite quiet.

And that can be the most brave thing of all. There are times we must be fearless enough to stay put. Fearless enough to bloom right where we are. Even if it seems to be in a place where no one sees your petals.

In the economy of the world, your efforts may seem futile or inconsequential. But, in light of eternity your choices just might be like that rebar.

The work is not glamorous. And few may see it. Its not measured by likes, awards, promotions or a number on the scale. Its better than that.

We are the stage setters, the foundation builders and the tree planters. Never doubt the impact one fearlessly blooming woman can have on her home, the humans that arrive there in need of shade (no matter their age) and the love she pours into the next generation.

May we never be so busy craving the big, sparkly assignments that we forsake the most important ones. The ones that happen in rocking chairs at the midnight hour, in backyards on long summer days, kneeling at bedsides for nighttime prayers and sweltering sunsets at the ballpark.

Taking with great care the humans to which we've been entrusted is a task worth taking seriously.

Shaping the character of the next generation, filling them with love and fueling them with truth has never been more important.

It remains a humble endeavor to be the rebar of a family. And there is no one right way to do it all. There are few ingredients and they've not changed since Wanda pressed dresses and scrubbed shoes clean. They are not hacks or Pinterest boards, apps or tablets. They are: patience and love, humility and wisdom, a box of goldfish and a bigger box of band aids. Oh, and Amazon Prime.