Single, Childless and Excited about It

Twenty-seven was my magic number. Somehow, Id convinced myself that Id be married by the time I was 27 years old.

Id mapped out my childbirth years, too. Id have my first child (a daughter, of course) at age 29. Her little sister would join us when I turned 31. Id then take a four-year hiatus in order to adjust to life as a fabulous mother before I had my last two children; sons. Theyd be boys and Id have them at ages 35 and 36 respectively. And that would be it.

Id have a tall, handsome, gainfully employed husband and four beautiful, loving, well-behaved children all by the ripe old age of 36. That was the plan.

Now, with all of that in mind, it may come as a complete shock to some folks that Im actually now well over 30 without as much as a steady boyfriend in sight. What would probably stun people even more, though, is to learn that Im perfectly happy with that. No. Scratch that. Im better than ok, with my marital status; Im quite grateful for it, actually.

You see, one thing Ive noticed is that when I woman hits a certain ageabout 28 or sowithout being married, she starts to hear the rumblings of concerned family members and friends. They want to know if shes going to get a man, if shes even capable of getting a man, or if shes doomed to die alone and childless. If a woman still happens to be single by the time shes 30, the rumblings begin to turn to loud whispers. And if heaven forbid, shes still single well into her 30s, those loud whispers become shrill screams.

And I get it. The idea of dying alone is frightening. Its frightening enough for some people to partner up with people they dont really love (or particularly like, for that matter). The shrill screams are deafening enough to push a woman to be with someone just for the sake of having a partner to post on social media. What Ive found though, is that if you can find the courage to tune out the noise of other peoples issues and expectations, I think youll find the life of a single, childless woman is actually pretty thrilling.

Imagine, if you will, being able to wake up every morning, and being able to think; not about what your husband needs or whether or not the kids are ready for school, picture yourself actually being able to think about yourself. Imagine thinking about yourself so intentionally that you can hear your inner voice acknowledging your lifes goals. Envision being able to hear yourself so clearly that you can not only admit your goals to yourself, but youre also able to strategize about you can do to bring said goals to pass. And since youre unencumbered, you will indeed be able to find the time to execute some of those well-laid plans, now. Theres no being Virginia Wolfe, fantasizing and longing to able to retreat to a little room; youre Oprah Winfrey, steadily plotting and carving out a large empire.

As a single, childless, woman, thats my life, and Im quite excited about it, as its one thing to dream of what you want to become as a little girl, its quite another to be able to grow up and actually get to dedicate your life to making those dreams come true. My life affords me such an opportunity and I happen to consider that to be a wonderful gift from above.

So, yes, your kids are amazing; I enjoy playing with them and subsequently returning them to you once theyve gotten on my nerves. No, Im not pressed because I dont have a man, as Im in a position to meet as many new men as Id like. And this will be our little secret, but, I rather enjoy being able to spend my hard-earned money on me. Thats not to say that Im ruling out a family forever, but, for right now; Im good.

That said, you can save your stares, your pity, your whispers and your rumbles; there are plenty of people in the world who actually need it, but single, childless, excited and delighted me is not one of them.