So the election happened. Now let's talk

When I woke up the morning after the election and checked Facebook , I was overwhelmed by the number of written statuses conveying fear, anger, or triumph.

I saw familiar hashtags - #maga #hillaryforprison #Imwithher - and a new one - #notmypresident

At first I thought #notmypresident was simply a way for people to distance themselves from a man they thought contemptible in every way. Trump may be President-elect of the United States, but if I say #notmypresident, its clear I didnt help get him there.

But as protests and riots have broken out in major cities and on college campuses (including my own) across the country, Im starting to understand the weight of that sentiment.

43% of eligible Americans did not vote , and Trump lost the popular vote by a margin of 0.2% , which means that just 27% of Americans eligible to vote voted for Donald Trump. A lot of people are terrified by the decision of that 27%, and have been spurred to the streets in protest ofwell, Im not entirely sure what they hope to accomplish. It may be as symbolic as #notmypresident, an outlet to combat an overwhelming feeling of helplessness. On the other side, some protesters fears are already becoming a reality. Hate crimes are on the rise. Again, I cant definitively speak to why - maybe seeing a man who spews hatred against women and minorities makes other people feel justified to speak their minds, regardless of how damaging and unproductive that is.

So welcome to Trumps America. Welcome to more shouting and violence, more fear and anger, more apathy and hate, more of everything that had been simmering for the entirety of the election cycle and is now boiling over into a supposedly post-PC society where people are saying and doing whatever they want. Theres no going back to strained smiles and dodging dicey subjects at the dinner table. Trumps election was a tipping point.

In his acceptance speech, Trump asked for unity. A sentiment met with a thankful sigh by his supporters and with dismissive groans by his detractors - still shocked, still grieving, still very, very angry. Which is totally understandable and justifiable, especially since mixed in with differences in political opinion are things like racism and misogyny and homophobia that you cant compromise on. Its really easy to be upset right now, and to band together with other people who are scared or angry and uncertain and voice that publicly. But whats harder, and I think ultimately going to be better for this country, is to talk to people who dont feel like you do about the election.

Like I said, this is the tipping point. The country has not suddenly become bigoted and crass and hostile to immigrants and forgetful of its poor - it has been since its founding. But, for decencys sake weve suppressed it and silenced it instead of working it out at its core, because its a lot easier to tell someone to shut up and be nice at the dinner table than to have the kind of conversation that will let someone confront their own innate prejudices in a constructive way.

Im tired of debates. I want to hear dialogue. Talk to someone you know disagrees with you. Ask them why. Be open, and be ready to be uncomfortable. Keep it constructive; do what this election didnt and focus on the issues. Dont try to change their opinion, but do try to understand it, and help them see why you have yours.

Trumps America doesnt have to be an America of fear and hatred and violence. This is Americas chance to grow. We do a lot of things wrong that weve never gotten right. Were a country founded on competing ideals of raw individualism and idyllic equality which we have yet to reconcile. Weve yet to achieve a seamless separation of church and state that adequately protects both the freedom of religion and freedom from religion. Were still fraught with institutional inequality on the basis of virtually any identifier a person can have - race, socioeconomic status, gender, and religion are just a few of the most prominent and deeply-ingrained ones. I could go on.

Thanks to Donald Trump, about the only thing we cant do about these problems now is ignore them. We have to talk about them. Talk to understand, without conceding your own values. Its hard and even scary but please, for the sake of the country, dont try to sweep divisive issues back under the rug. You dont have to agree with Donald Trump for him to be your president. He will be your president, regardless of what you do now, but what Trumps America looks like is still up to you.