Area Man Swallowed Whole By Living, Breathing Tarp

A Kansas City Royals' grounds crew member barely escaped death on Thursday when a giant tarp temporarily came to life and tried to swallow him whole in front of thousands of fans.

The horrifying ordeal occurred during a rain delay in the third inning of the Royals' game against the Houston Astros, and it brings up a number of questions. Questions like, why didn't the other members of the grounds crew feel compelled to stop rolling the tarp once they saw their fellow man being consumed by the tarp creature? Are they not allowed to stop rolling the tarp under any circumstances? Is it possible they only appear to be rolling it, but that the tarp is actually rolling itself? We cannot say. We can only speculate. 

The swallowed grounds crew member's name is Adam Wallace, and he has since said that he is all right, according to The Kansas City Star. So it is OK to laugh. Once more, tarp man.

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