The Best Dating Advice I Can Give You

YOU a single 34-year-old woman want to give me dating advice? No thanks; Im good. -you after reading the title of this post, probably

Hear me out.

You might not think Im the best person to dole out advice on this topic considering Im old and not currently in a relationship, but I actually dont view that as a bad thing. I see SO many single folks out there settling, sticking around when the situation and relationship is all kinds of wrong, and/or dating for the sake of well, dating. Because they feel like thats what theyre supposed to do.

And these people? Theyre miserable.

And Im not.

Being single has never been a source of sadness or depression for me. Even in those itd-be-nice-to-meet-someone moments, Im not miserable when I dont. Why is that, you ask? (Im sure you didnt ask; just go with it)

Because Im happy alone.

Now, that doesnt say Im happier alone. That doesnt say I prefer being alone. Thats different.

It just means Ive always created a life for myself that does not revolve around being in a relationship. Its a life filled with a lot of really great things and people and hobbies and well, alone time. Which I happen to like no, NEED.

I have friends and family who I enjoy spending time with, a job that keeps me insanely busy, a writing gig on the side that fulfills me, and other simple pleasures that satisfy the soul and mind.

Because of all that, relationships become the cherry on top of the sundae; an added bonus or perk. I dont need it. And for that reason? I dont stay in things that arent right. I dont force. I refuse to settle. And if I *am* dating someone, all of these things make for a happier and healthier situation; one that isnt codependent or riddled with insecurity. I still have that sense of individuality and independence.

Basically, I follow this mantra (courtesy of poet Warsan Shire ):

So its this, my single friends (all 3 of you), that I consider the best dating advice. Its not tips on Where to Meet the Perfect Guy or How to Land That Chick in Accounting Youve Been Flirting With All Year. I actually dont have the answers to that stuff. What I *can* advise that you do is build a life for yourself that you really, truly loveso being solo isnt such a bad thing.

It doesnt mean you have to stop seeking a relationship.

It just means you value the one you have with yourself first and foremost.

Good luck out there.