The Beyonc of Divorce

You know how Beyonc will be silent on social media for a while and then all of the sudden she starts posting the most glorious photos of her either in tropical locations or in a bathroom but we love them all the same? And you know how she just shines and you feel like you need to be living some part of her life because, well...shes Beyonc and because her shine is unbeatable? Well, Im about to introduce you to her counterpart: Christin Armstrong . Listen, shes absolutely slaying this divorce glow up so before the Beyhive and divorce opponents chime in, dont. We know she isnt actually Beyonc and she doesnt condone divorce...not across-the-board, anyway. Now that we have THAT out of the way, the ONLY difference is that Christins shine comes from something money cant buy...her freedom. Warning: If youre on the cusp of a divorce or reconciliation, you might want to stop reading right now because by the end of this, youll be running to the courthouse to sign those papers.

I first heard about Christin through a mutual friend in the wedding industry. We were talking about styled photo shoots and she shared one that Chrtistin and her family had just shot. You, guysit was one of the most beautiful family photo shoots Ive seen. The children were all happy and smiling from ear-to-ear and Christin and her husband were looking like Black royalty. I began following her because I love the babies and her page was full of nothing but Black Love. Being pretty active on social media, I noticed that seemingly overnight, shed disappeared. It was soon after the election so I assumed that she was taking the necessary mental health break that we all needed in order to cope with the new guy in office. She slowly began showing up, a post here, a trip there. It wasnt until recently that she let everyone in on the secret of her new glow up...shed gotten a divorce.

Its an awful feeling to forsake all others only to be forsaken by the one you forsook all others for. That realization was the driving force for the amount of self-love Ive had this year. I put myself in front of everything and everybody, including my children. Why? Because a broken Christin cant be ANY good for ANYone. I built my following by sharing photos of my family and giving Black Love the credit it deserves. I wanted everyone to know that love and long term marriage is beautiful and common in our community. Imagine how embarrassing it was to watch it all crumble. I had to get myself together before I could get them on the straight and narrow. Id been in a relationship for 12 straight years. Id been a parent for ten years. Id been a daughter for 34 years. By the time I was old enough to realize who I was, I was giving all of me to other people. Thats an exhausting way to live. I took time to refocus. I told folks no. I ignored calls and texts that gave me anxiety, and all the people that truly love me pushed through that. Prioritize your priorities and refocus. Its so much easier to be selfless when youre self-aware. I promise.

I decided to take control of my situation. I took time to grieve my marriage and then I set out to be the bomb on my own. It didnt seem like we could be a complete family if we werent a nuclear family. It didnt seem like I would be able to thrive as a single mother and that terrified me. I set a goal for myself. Id get on an airplane 10 times this year at least and I did. I realized that rich people werent the only people that go to Paris and Italy so I decided that thats where Id go to celebrate my freedom. I took one of my favorite photographers with me and made memories.

I made the decision to talk about it instead of suffering in silence. I was tired of just hoping people would just figure it out on their own some day. First, I went to counseling and then I made the decision to tell everyone instead of having everyone guessing. So many women are stuck in marriages that are full of infidelity and/or abuse because they dont feel like they can survive on their own. Being a small business owner , it was hard for me to let go for that reason. While I dont condone divorce, I found that having less forced me to focus more on myself and children.

For months, I wondered why this was my life and what was the purpose. Im currently communicating back-and-forth with 47 women that are divorced, divorcing or thinking about divorce. Yes, 47. Im happy to be able to help others through it. You are the only one that can decide when you are ready to give up. Your family cant do it, your friends cant do it. Your parents cant do it. Only you know how much you can stand. Do your best to work it out because marriages take work, but if you feel that your life and/or happiness are on the line, its okay to be selfish. Selfishness helped me to become self-aware in this case.