The Most Frustrating Things People Say to a Homeschooling Parent

I'm almost two years into my homeschooling journey, and over this period, I have recognized that there are several frustrating things people say to a homeschool parent. I've heard these statements on numerous occasions, and while I realize they may be innocent, many of them are indirectly hurtful and even obnoxious.

Before I share these with you, I have to clarify that I welcome questions about homeschooling. I understand that it's a curious topic for people who aren't familiar with it. However, there are some questions that should be addressed more delicately or not at all.

You can homeschool because you were a teacher.
I get this a lot when I tell people that I'm a homeschooling mom.

Does my early childhood education help me in homeschooling? Probably. Does it "qualify" me to homeschool? No.

There are thousands of homeschooling families who come from all sorts of backgrounds... salespeople, accountants, nurses, researchers and mechanics... this is what makes homeschooling so rich!

I spent 20 years working as an early childhood professional. While my profession gave me some insight into planning and implementing curriculum, it never taught me how to teach my children.

Want to know what qualifies me to homeschool? I'm my children's mother.

I know my kids. I know what they like and don't like. I know what excites them and what motivates them. I know their patterns and their moods. I know my kids and for me, that is the biggest qualification for homeschooling.

Aren't you worried about socialization?
Oh, this one irks me. Are you saying that just because they're not in school, they're not socialized? WHAT?!

First off, define socialization and tell me why schools get all the credit for "socializing" our children? If we're talking about the opportunity to make friends, my children have plenty of chances to connect with other children and to interact with members of our community .

They're children... not dogs.

I have nothing else to say on this matter.

What about university?
No, I won't be homeschooling them through university. Wait, what?! Did I misunderstand that question?

My children can go to university just like any other kid. They'll go if they want to go, and they'll apply for admission to a university like anyone else.

I realize the intent behind this question. People who ask this are often wondering if homeschooling will negatively impact my children's eligibility for university. I wouldn't dream of sacrificing my children's eligibility for post-secondary education, so I'm giving my children the best education possible.

What do you do with them all day?
I love telling people about out homeschool days. I could talk for hours about our experiences and activities. However, often when someone asks this, there's a snarky look on their face, and they're expecting me to say we eat popcorn and watch TV all day long.

Seriously? What do you think I do with them all day? I teach them. Every day. All day. Even outside of our "structured" learning time, I'm teaching them.

Aren't you worried they won't be at the same level as the other kids?
This is a subtle way of asking if I'm doing a sufficient job of teaching my children.

My daughter is in grade three, and she reads at a grade seven level, but she writes at a grade two level. She's a whiz at math and science, but up until this year, didn't do as well in social studies. Her "levels" are all over the place, and this is the same for many other kids whether they're homeschooled or not. Just because they're in school, doesn't mean they're functioning at the "same level" as all the other kids.

We all have areas that we excel in and areas that we struggle in. As a homeschooling parent, I can embrace this and work with it.

Why are you homeschooling? You only have two kids!
Really?! I get this question quite often from fellow homeschoolers. How many children do I need to have to make me eligible to homeschool? Parents can homeschool their children whether they have one child or nineteen children. It's their choice.

You must be a good parent.
Yes, I think I am a good parent but this has nothing to do with the fact that I homeschool my kids.

While there are many "good" parents who homeschool, I'm certain there are parents who aren't as "good" who homeschool as well.

I know many FABULOUS parents who don't homeschool. What does this kind of statement say about them?

"Good" parent and "bad" parent, "good" mom and "bad" mom, "good" dad and "bad" dad are terms that should be avoided regardless of the situation and context.

I love homeschooling, and I love talking about homeschooling, but I wish that these statements could be removed from all homeschooling conversations.

Jennifer Bly is the author of the book "My Kitchen, My Classroom: An Introduction to Homeschool" . This article first appeared on The Deliberate Mom . Join The Deliberate Mom community on Facebook or follow along on Bloglovin' to get notifications of similar articles.