The Single Most Important Choice I Made That Radically Improved My Life

Here it is. My before and after. That's me seven years ago, on the left, and the more recent me on the right. The one on the left looks healthy, she is thin, shes an endurance athlete, she counts her calories, she seems to have it together. But she also hatted herself; she was incredibly lonely and was suffering from depression and eating disorders. She may look healthy, but how healthy are we really if we dont love ourselves?

The photo on the right, this is the current me; overweight, sometimes awkward and sometimes, still unsure, but she is happier and so much healthier. Most people post their after thinner versions of themselves. My after is opposite. I weigh more today but I love myself more than I ever have. I care about myself and make healthier choices. We cant judge people by how they look, we have no idea what is going on inside of each other. Some people say to me, Maybe you should lose weight before you travel the world. Others say, I have to shrink my body before I can ever find love again. For years, I felt the same way, I believed that how I looked was who I was. I thought that until I changed myself, fixed my flaws, I couldnt be happy, I couldnt do the things I dream about or go after what I really want.

I used to carry so much shame around about my body. It didnt matter what size it was I never felt good enough. Until I realized this obsessing and self-hate was wasting my life.

Suddenly it made sense: to stop hating myself is to raise the vibration and love on the planet. To stop loathing myself is to reduce the negativity and pain in the world.

So yes, the woman you see on the right is overweight, she has cellulite and a double chin, but today, I accept all of me, this woman is happy, healthy and fulfilled. Learning how to love the parts of us we think are unlovable is possible, but we must stop buying into others point of view about how we should look or live our life. Stop attacking yourself with negative thoughts. Dont waste any more time on them. You and your life are far too precious.

Self-love is not about how you look. Its about how you live. And your life is worth living. It starts by more loving.

Shannon Kaiser is the author of the new book The Self-Love Experiment, Fifteen Principles for Becoming More Kind, Compassionate, and Accepting of Yourself where she shares her journey to finding self-love. Pre-order the book here to start your own Self-Love Experiment.