To The Not-So-Married Mamas

Dear Mamas,

Make a promise to yourself that you will have your own back, never settle, and ensure that youre giving yourself the love that you deserve.

If youre not prioritizing and fully valuing yourself; how can you healthily value another human?

Your commitment to yourself isnt just about you; its also about your child.

Your kid watches you and theyre learning everyday; you dont have the right to be angry with the person they become if you dont at least try set the stage to give them your best self.

Be real, be human, be strong and please let them be little. Be little too play alongside them. Your child and your inner child will thank you.

You know youve learned some lessons thus far; prioritize you inner circle with openness, respect, autonomy, and honesty. Have those non-negotiable factors in your close friendships and relationships. Set boundaries in those surface level only relationships.

It can be hard to wrap your head around ideals that reject acceptance, so avoid that negativity when you see it.

If someone doesnt match up with your values; they may never make sense to you.

Show your little one what it looks like to never compromise on self-respect and respect for others. Dont let the nastiness of others bring out the ugly in you. What someone else eats doesnt make you fat. Recognize that you are the one in control of your emotions and attitude no other person has the rights to your soul.

Mistakes make you human; not repeating the same mistakes makes you an even better human. Your past slip-ups do not define you; dont let anything take away the magic in your opportunity of being a mama.

Youre the M.O.M., let it be known that your little angel is a non-negotiable part of the package. Dont put your kiddo in compromising situations; its your job to keep their body and heart safe.

Lets be real, many of us are guilty of getting married to our own ideas of perfection and ideal situations... but life doesnt always go as planned and guess what you actually cant control it all. Hold too tightly or too loosely and you might be on the path to scary territory. Finding the right balance is an ongoing and probably never perfected process.

Dont get me wrong, sometimes taking control can save someones life or keep a toddler safe, but other times control is what crushes relationships, stunts personal growth, breeds co-dependency, and causes you to trap yourself and others in situations that arent in anyones best interest.

Nobody has all the answers, show yourself some grace and forgiveness... and try to do the same for others when they need it the most.

Empathy and self-sacrifice are two different animals; be aware.

If someone decides to leave your life, whether it be a friend, a colleague, a partner, a friend... let them. You can even speed up the process and rip that band-aid off. You deserve full presence... but so do others in return.

Faith is a beautiful thing, but if youre holding out for someone to change or trying to make them change... stop. A genuine shift in someone isnt going to happen just because you want it for them, so dont torture yourself. Speak your piece and then let it go.

Dont let anothers inability to grow halt your ability to move forward.

Use your intuition, some discretion, and allow yourself to be fearless, motivated, and committed toward become more like your best self each day.

Being a mama is the tough job, but its the best damn job on the planet; I dont care what anyone says. Give yourself some damn credit.

Years from now, do you want to look back and remember feeling stuck or celebrate those moments of growth where you changed your mindset and truly lived?

Its life, no one makes it out alive... you got this mama.