Trump Cabinet 'Secretary of Dogs Affairs' Unmasked as a Cat

Washington: Goodyear Satire Co.--

Official Washington was shocked today when the Trump cabinet Secretary of Dogs was unmasked as a cat.

The stunning revelation came after a four-month investigation that found surplus government meat was secretly transferred from canine to feline facilities on the orders of Fluffy, Trumps Secretary of Dogs. The illegal movement of meat contradicted an oft-repeated Trump campaign promise to "Put A Bone in Every Pot."

"This is an outrage," growled Sen. Charles "Chucky" Schumer, (D-ASPCA.) "Its like all these cabinet secretaries are secretly the enemies of the agencies they head.

At that point, President Trump yelled Squirrel and Shumer ran off in search of new headlines.

Suspicions that Fluffy might be a cat arose when she started purring uncontrollably at a Trump cabinet meeting. "I am blessed and honored to serve you, President Trrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr rrrrrrrrrrrr rrrrrrrr," said Chief of Staff Reince Priebus.

This was a trigger for Fluffy to start purring in unison with the docile Priebus. She laid on her back (Fluffy, not Reince) to allow Secretary of Defense Mad Dog Mattis to tickle her tummy. Shes a cat! exclaimed Mad Dog.

After a private meeting with President Trump, Fluffy moved to gut health care for dogs and end subsidies to dog food manufacturers. The savings will be used to further fatten already fat cats.

The Trump Administration responded to the crisis by re-naming the Department of Dogs the "Department of Animals That Always Land On Their Feet." George Orwells cat would approve.

Cover photo: By Jacksima (Own work) [CC BY-SA 3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0) or GFDL (http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html)], via Wikimedia Commons