What Does Discomfort Have to Do With Peaceful Eating?

As our world has changed, and technological advances have made our lives more physically comfortable do you think weve become more intolerant as a society to discomfort? This thought occurred to me as I was supporting people in an eating disorders group, particularly around the concept of sitting with discomfort.

Why is this so hard for us?

My grandparents didnt have running water or electricity where they grew up in a Greek island village. Work in and out of the home was much more physically demanding than it is now. Children, if they went to school, would come home to chores that were required for the functioning of the family. I think people were more used to feeling discomfort; it was accepted as a part of life. Perhaps Im being nave. Perhaps I have a romanticised view of eras past, where people were more in touch with the land, physical work and therefore their bodies; where they could accept the hardships of life more readily Thats not to say people werent tired, that they didnt die young from exposure to mine dust or chemicals, or just the unavailability of the medical care we have now. Of course not.

But were they more tolerant of discomfort? And why is that so important?

Whether or not our forbears were more tolerant of discomfort than we are, isnt actually important! Im just trying to understand why there seems to be a huge rise in the numbers of people who engage in compulsive behaviours: eating, shopping, checking electronic devices, gambling, sex, did I say eating? Is it because our more physically comfortable lives have made us less resilient to feeling discomfort? Or did their more physically engaged lives mean that they didnt have the time or energy to pay much attention to their emotional discomfort?

In fact, does discomfort have anything to do with compulsive behaviours?

My experience is that it does. In fact, my belief is that unless you can learn to be with discomfort, you wont become a peaceful eater. Unless you can accept and be with the feelings you dont like, you will continue to behave compulsively.

I know, because Ive been there. And in fact, I still go there, from time to time.

When I havent taken the time to sit and allow myself my uncomfortable feelings without having to change them, the urges reappear as if by magic. The overeating is a response to feelings I dont want to feel: fear, anxiety, anger, frustration, hurt, sadness and grief. Its especially when there have been a number of things happening in a short space of time, that Ive not taken time to process, that this happens. For example: I get a text from the bank to say our account is under our threshold; my daughter has a meltdown as shes leaving for school (and shes already late); its the first anniversary of my beloved godmothers death; its my daughters 18th birthday in 2 days and I havent yet organised her present and its only 9 am.

Which is when I got a sudden urge and craving for FOOD! Chocolate-chip cookies, chocolate icing whipped up in my least-favourite mug; hot chocolate powder on a spoon, straight from the container Of course there is nothing wrong with eating any of this, at any time, in any quantity.

But what do I want more?

Do I want something more for myself than the sugar rush and consequent numbness from the worry, sadness and frustration that life isnt going according to my plan this morning?

What I want, is a life fully lived. I want a life with all its experiences fully felt. I want the life my godmother didnt have the good fortune to continue. I want to feel connected.

I want the whole thing.

Not just the bits I like.

In accepting the discomfort of those feelings, I get to choose the life I have: the daughter I have, even when shes scared and angry; the bank balance I have, even though its not the number I would prefer; even my godmothers death, because its the reality thats present.

And when I choose the present reality, I feel peace.

When I choose the present reality, theres nothing I have to do. I dont need to make anything different. I can just be.

And chocolate icing whipped up in my least favourite mug no longer has any allure. And if it did, that would be fine. I would be choosing that too.

If this makes sense to you, and you want to learn how to be with your discomfort so you can experience deep peace, set up a free Discovery Session with me.