Who's Your Favorite Aunt?

Whos your favorite Aunt?

Go ahead and laugh a little its good for you!

a special feature from grandparentslink.com

Ive had some favorite aunts in my life. My Aunt Audrey used to read Robert Louis Stevenson to me at night and provided me with a love of literature. My Aunt Allison used to take me to all sorts of museums when I was young and instilled a love of art that I cherish to this day. And my Great Aunt Elaine used to take me to the theatre every year for my birthday and exposed a new world of make believe that has impacted me to this very day. However, one aunt I must give credit to at this stage of life is my very special AUNT ACID!

When my generation was named The Baby Boomers, I was nave in the understanding of the term Boomers. I had come to believe it referred to our population. I have since discovered the Boom in Boomers has more to do with our current ability to process food. Im not talking about GMOs or the ever present preservatives I consume with each meal. I am referring to the entire process of digestion for those of us with the hashtag Boomers. The Boom is what is taking place inside our stomachs and has nothing to do with population.

The breakdown in our ability to digest food is a personal subject for me and it didnt follow a precise timeline, like grasping the exact moment my hairline would recede far enough to begin the process of perfecting the comb-over. My wife and I dont even mention the name of a product; weve evolved into using our own secret code for going out for dinner. You remember to bring them? Ill ask. Definitely, shell respond. At this point, we both just know that the unnamed item is some sort of antacid. May the Gods be with us if were going out for Italian; we know were going to have to double down on the dose. Ill just give her a quick look and ask, Youre bringing the large purse tonight, right?

Those of us on the meal plan in college used to look with anticipation to Wednesday lunches when they served grilled cheese sandwiches. We would wrap them inside a couple of napkins and squeeze out the excess oils. I would always take a few back to my dorm room and enjoy the toasty, greasy offerings for days to come. I never once thought of taking any form of digestive aid as I feasted on those crunchy delights, wrapped up inside my sock drawer.

Boomers depend upon a myriad of prescriptions and over the counter digestive aids. We can only look back with remorse to the days when a tasty three-day-old grilled cheese sandwich haphazardly stored in a dorm drawer bearing a Fruit of the Loom label imprinted backwards on a greasy napkin constituted a delectable midnight treat.

Whatever happened to our boomer iron stomachs? When did we pass from totally consumption-able to Okay, Id love to take a taste but first let me line my stomach with some sort of protection. I guess the answer is: the next time you step up to that food truck, or go out for a slice and a coke, just make sure you have access to some pill, bottle, or roll of your favorite Aunt Acid. Yep, this is who we are like it or notso just own it!

Whos your favorite Aunt? is an exclusive feature for grandparentslink.com by Steven Ziplow, writer & producer, who lives with his wife in Charleston, South Carolina. He enjoys both sides of his "blended family." As a footnote, he totally loves the idea of aging and pokes fun at it in his writings. His hobbies include acting, tennis, and replacing non-functioning parts of his body with titanium.