Why Didn't They Speak Out Sooner?

Full disclosure: Im tired.

So tired of this election and the rigmarole, the drama, the spectacle, and the pure CIRCUS that its been.

As a self-proclaimed politics junkie, I just want it to be OVER. I watch the debates with an uneasy pit in my stomach, I cringe at the daily news stories and Im generally just disgusted by it all.

But since I always have something to say I got something to say.

Ive been grappling with the idea of writing this for quite some time, and every time I sat down to write it I felt uneasy, unsure and uncomfortableso I didnt. But like anything else in my life, if my mind keeps wandering back to something, I simply cant ignore it.

There are so many dirty and scandalous parts of this election (most of them having nothing to do with actual politics, policies or the candidates platforms) including email scandals, Russia, rigged voting (ugh), corruption, components of racism or antisemitism, you name it. None of it is good.

But one thing thats continued to come up with our Republican candidate (dont feel like writing his name) is allegations of sexual harassment and assault. Allegations of him doing and/or saying inappropriate things to women. Allegations of conduct that should NEVER take place; especially from a person who wants to uphold the most powerful position in the world.

These allegations and claims from women are rolling in seemingly by the DAY; all with different examples in varying degrees of seriousness. If you need a refresher (get a barf bag ready), heres a list that NY Mag/The Cut compiled: An Exhaustive List of the Allegations Women Have Made Against Donald Trump .

Each and every time one of these breaking news stories are revealed, I continue to hear and read the same thing over and over:

Why didnt they speak out sooner?

Is it a fair question? Sure, I suppose so. Perhaps youre not familiar with the statistics around women not reporting these kinds of incidents The Huffington Post writes that a 2015 study found that one in three women have been sexually harassed and that 71 percent did not report it.

Well, thats silly, some of you might say. Why not?

Heres one big reason, among many others:

Fear.

Fear of repercussions, not being believed, stirring the pot, damaging relationships, getting unwanted attention or backlash.

Fear of reputations being muddied (especially your own), being judged or ridiculed, people finding out.

But when a man goes on television and vehemently denies that he has ever engaged in any kind of sexual misconduct and you know he has you may feel the motivation and bravery to finally come forward, even years later. Especially if you know that this man wants to lead the Free World and has absolutely no business doing so and maybe, just maybe, you can stop him by letting the world know just who and what he truly is.

Back in college when I was around 19 years old, I had a Public Speaking professor who undoubtedly crossed the line and made sexual advances towards me. Hed stare at my breasts for a long period of time; squinting while pretending to read the words on my shirt. Hed tell me he had a dream about me the night before in front of the entire class. He flirted, made weird comments and even offered me an internship at his radio station. Alone with him. At night.

I obviously declined.

I hated walking into that class every day unaware of what would happen next and felt incredibly small, stupid and gross when a guy from my class came up to me at a bar once with his friend and said, this is the girl from my class I was telling you about the one my teachers in love with.

Ick.

So why am I talking about this? Because I never said anything. I never told the school or his department and I never expressed to him how uncomfortable he made me. But guess what? If I saw him on TV today talking about how no one respects women more than he does? Id come out and tell my story, too. Fifteen years later.

And that fear would still be there; the one that says people are going to chastise you for this. You will be blamed and ridiculed and people may try to dig things up in your past and destroy you simply for coming forward. Especially if he is a man of great wealth and power.

I hope this all makes sense to any naysayers who dont understand why sometimes it seems like the safest option is to stay quiet.

Thanks for letting me tell my story.

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